An Improper Ever After (Elliot & Annabelle 3)

Annabelle

My head is spinning, my breathing shallow. I let myself stay dazed until it deepens, then return to reality.

The almost violent need Elliot has for my body should leave me happy. But instead I’m conflicted. Everything we have is based on primitive, physical lust. If it hadn’t been for that, he would’ve never propositioned me. Anyone would’ve been okay to fulfill his father’s condition.

Admitting that to myself has given me the strength to keep the words inside me. I’m never going to say “I love you” to a man who can’t say it back and mean it. I deserve that much in a relationship.

I shift, then stop when I notice the stickiness between my legs. A sudden chill racks me, and I jerk myself up, a sheet clutched to my chest.

“What’s wrong?” Elliot asks, his eyes suddenly alert.

“You forgot the condom,” I blurt out.

When he doesn’t respond immediately, I look down at him. He is absolutely gorgeous, lying next to me on the bed, and the effect of his magnetism hits me like a freight train, stealing my breath. His thick, silky hair is messed up, but it only adds to the raw, masculine beauty of his masterfully carved face. One hand is tucked under his head, while the other rests on his chest, the arms lean and muscular from regular swimming. I know how strong his body is—I’ve felt it often: when he carried me like I weighed nothing in St. Cecelia, every time he finally loses control and drives into me…

But there’s something else that makes me hesitate. The small hint of insufferable insolence almost always present in his expression is gone, and it makes my internal alarm clang. Something has shifted without my noticing, and I don’t know what that is or what it means.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“I heard you,” he says mildly, as though we’re discussing what to have for lunch. He doesn’t even move from his rather lazy repose.

“Are you clean?” Even as I ask, I know what the answer is. He’s too meticulous to be careless with something as important as his sexual health.

“Of course. You?” he asks in an easy tone that doesn’t tell me much.

My face heats. From him, it’s a reasonable question, since I’m the one who was stupid enough to get drunk in high school and get… I push the thought out of my head and nod jerkily.

“Well, then.”

Why isn’t he more freaked out? There’s more to the situation than whether or not one of us has an STD. We agreed when we signed the deal: no kids. “Maybe the timing’s wrong,” I say, thinking fast. “Besides, it’s only one time.”

Even as I say it, my insidious mind reminds me it only took once to get pregnant last time.

Oh my god. Last time. I squeeze my eyes shut, bringing a shaky hand to cover my face. I don’t want to think about that ugliness at all. This is nothing like before. I wasn’t forced, I’m not some naïve clueless girl of fifteen, and the father of this child isn’t going to be a mystery if I get pregnant.

“If you say so.” Elliot’s softly spoken words penetrate my churning thoughts. “I’m sure you know better than me.”

“Why aren’t you more upset?” I drop my hand from my face and study his utterly relaxed body. Just what the hell is going on? I feel like I’m in a middle of a hockey game where the rules have suddenly changed.

“Do you want me to be?”

I don’t know how to answer that. So instead I say, “You should’ve remembered the rubber.”

He nods. “True. I apologize.”

Oddly enough, his easygoing attitude bugs me more than getting upset would. I straighten and stare straight ahead.

He starts to push himself up, then drops back on the bed and pulls me gently down over him. I settle onto his bare torso, my breasts pressed against his chest. I can feel his strong, throbbing heartbeat, and my heart accelerates to match his tempo. It still astounds me how my body adjusts to his until we fit perfectly. It’s either magic or madness. Liquid heat ripples through me despite the strong orgasms I just had, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this need I have for him.

“This isn’t about being responsible or hoping for the best,” he says. “I’m not going to worry about anything until…if it happens. And I don’t want you to worry, either.”

I nod, somewhat placated by his explanation. He’s being logical, and worrying won’t solve anything.

“There’s something else. It’s about your former roommate—Caroline.”

Caroline. The last time we spoke about her, it was about him checking out my assertion about her betrayal.

“If she ever bothers you again, you have to let me know. I should’ve told you this earlier, but didn’t. Another mistake.” He tilts his head while adjusting me, so he can look at my face. “She hasn’t bothered you since…the articles, has she?” I shake my head, and he says, “Good.”