I sighed and made it a big one, but finally said, "Fine, Sin. I wish you at least spelled it C-Y-N."
"You know that everyone mispronounced it that way."
"I know, I know. They kept calling you Cindy, Sidney, or Sid."
"Or Carol, Karen, Carl, or Candy--that was my favorite when I was spelling it C-Y-N."
"Fine. Sin, spelled just like it sounds. What's up?" I said, but didn't try to keep the crankiness out of my voice.
His expression went from stubborn to his own version of cranky. He was a very handsome guy, but not in this mood. A lot of men in my life, and women, would have given it up by now, but Cynric--sorry, Sin--had a streak of stubbornness and determination that gave mine a run for its money, which was saying something.
"Nicky is going with Anita to Ireland along with three vampires. If he donates blood to Jean-Claude now, he won't be able to donate again for a couple of days. The same for Anita and the ardeur, but I can feed her and donate blood to Jean-Claude now and leave Nicky fresh for later."
"You make Nicky sound like a tomato that'll spoil if we squeeze it too much," I said.
Sin shrugged. "Isn't that pretty accurate?"
Nicky chuckled low and deep in his chest.
I looked at him. "Is that how we make you feel, like an object?"
The smile was still showing in his face as he said, "No, but then we're in love with each other, and when you feed, the sex is part of our relationship."
Jean-Claude said, "And do I make you feel like a piece of food rather than a person?"
Nicky shook his head. "You make me feel like prey sometimes, but never just food."
"I do not see you as prey, Nicky."
"Maybe prey is the wrong word. What do you call someone that you're trying to seduce?"
Jean-Claude looked surprised, which could have been totally pretend, but I didn't think so, or maybe I didn't want to think so.
"I swear to you, Nicky, that I have not tried to seduce you when you allowed me to feed."
Nicky studied the vampire's face for a minute, then turned to me. "Has he been trying?"
"To seduce you?"
He nodded.
"No, I mean, not really. Jean-Claude is very sensual in almost everything he does, and he treats taking blood as important. He never makes it fast food, if you know what I mean."
"You donate your life's blood to keep me alive and well. How can I treat it as anything but a sacred sharing?"
"Sacred sharing, I like it," I said.
"Are you just going to ignore my suggestion?" Sin asked.
"I think we were hoping you'd rethink it," I said.
"Why?"
"I have never taken blood from you, neveu, and I would not start now."
"Why not?"
"You do not understand what you are asking of me."
"I've donated blood to Echo."
"You are her lover and her wife's lover. I call you neveu. It means 'nephew' and I use the word very deliberately, Sin."
Sin nodded. "I know, you use it to remind yourself that I am your beloved nephew, the prince to your king, not a romantic partner."
"If you know all that, then how can you offer yourself to me like this?"
"I'm not offering to have sex with you, Jean-Claude, just give blood."
"It's never just blood with Jean-Claude," I said, studying his face. I could have lowered my shields and understood what he was actually feeling, or even thinking, because I could share both with my animals to call, but I didn't try to get emotionally closer. Until I found out where this was going and why, I wasn't sure I wanted Sin inside my head that far.
"I know he can take blood without messing with my head; any vampire can."
"But then it is just pain," Jean-Claude said.
"I'm okay with that," Sin said.
"I am not."
Sin looked at the vampire then. "What do you mean?"
"I have worked long and hard to bring myself to a point where I have so many people in my life that I care for who willingly give their life's blood to me. I do not have to take blood where I can find it, Sin, but where I want it."
"I want to be seriously considered for the commitment ceremony."
"We are aware of that, neveu."
"I kept asking why I wasn't being seriously considered, and finally someone told me it was because you saw me as a beloved nephew and you don't marry your nephew."
Jean-Claude gave that wonderful Gallic shrug, though it's more graceful than that sounds. It was a gesture that meant everything and nothing, but he looked good doing it. It seemed a very French gesture.
"It's not just Jean-Claude, Sin," I said. "Micah doesn't know what to do with you either."
"But he sleeps in the bed with you, Nathaniel, and me. We've all had sex with you in bed at the same time."
"That's true, but he still doesn't call you a brother-husband."
"I asked Micah before he left town, and he said if everyone else agreed, he wouldn't fight it."
"You have been a busy bee, haven't you?" I said, and again the crankiness was back. I tried not to have issues with Sin, but I did.
"I am sorry, neveu, but I will not agree to putting a ring on your finger. That is not the relationship we have, or want."
"Nicky donates blood to you and he's not your lover."
"That is true, but you have already heard him accuse me of attempting to seduce him when I have not tried. I am of a line of vampires that takes power from sensual things, sexual things, and the emotions that such things engender in people
. I am proud of you as an uncle or even a father might be. I cannot think of you as that and then hold you in my arms while I sink fangs into your flesh and suck a little piece of your life away."
A moment of doubt crossed Sin's face, but he shook his head. "I value our relationship, Jean-Claude. I like being the young prince to your king, but I don't want to lose my place with Anita and the others."
"Nothing is threatening your place with us," I said.
He shook his head again. "You've already cut some of your other tigers out of your life as lovers and food for the ardeur, Anita."
"If I tried to sleep regularly with everyone I was connected to metaphysically, the people at the core of my life wouldn't see much of me."
"Am I a part of that core, Anita?"
I took a breath and wanted to say something else, but I said the truth. "Yes."
"Then why do you keep pulling away from me?"
"We talked about this, Sin."
"I can't change the fact that I'm only nineteen, or that you're twelve years older than I am."
"I know that," I said.
"Do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Then why do you punish me for it?"
"I don't punish you for it."
"Even I'm going to agree with the kid on this one, Anita," Nicky said.
I glared at him. "I thought you were designed to keep me happy, especially with you. Just so we're clear, this is not me being happy with you."
He looked at me. "I'm supposed to help keep you happy."
"That would be my point."
"When you're not all weird about Sin, he's part of what keeps you happy. Do you know why he was with me when they gave me Jean-Claude's message?"
It felt like Nicky had changed topics, but I said, "Of course I don't know that. Are you changing topics?"
"Sin and I were talking about what he'll be making for dinner since Nathaniel will be in Ireland tonight and he's the main cook for our poly group. Sin thought that through and came to me with a plan."
I looked from one to the other of them. "That's great," I said.
"Sin and I sous chef for Nathaniel most of the time, or cook some of the dishes."
"I know that."
"Then why do you seem so surprised that we're talking about meal planning while Nathaniel is out of town?"
"I guess we're taking most of the people you cook for."
"It's our night at the Jefferson County house with Zeke, Gina, and Chance. They'll be expecting us and we always cook when we're there."