Forever Mine

The two of them look the spitting image of each other. I always knew he resembled him, but it’s only now I see it properly when they’re side by side. I don’t want to deny him spending time with him, I just don’t want him to let him down like has me.

“What will you tell Priya?”

He flinches his head back. “What about?”

I nod towards Caleb. “About all this.”

“I’ve already told her. She knows why I’m keeping the girls here a few extra weeks.”

“Is she okay about it?”

“Well yeah. Why wouldn’t she be? What about Justin? He knows I’m the father right?”

“Of course he does.”

“I know this isn’t ideal for you, Steph, but it’s not exactly ideal for me either.”

I roll my eyes and put the wipes in a nearby bin, then take the bib from Caleb, fold it up and put it in the bag. He holds his arms out to me, opening and squeezing his hands so I take him from Cal and hold him in my lap

Cal gazes at the two of us with a smile on his face. “He has your dimples.”

“I know. I think it’s the only thing he has of mine.”

“Do you remember the last time we were here?”

“I can’t forget. You’re still wearing your watch.”

He looks at his wrist, then at my hands. “Yeah. You’re not wearing your ring, though.”

“Only because of Caleb. I haven’t worn jewellery since he started pulling on my necklace and earrings.”

* * *

CAL

I rubmy face with my hand. Something else I’ve missed. It’s a small thing, but I remember the first time my girls gripped my finger. “I still can’t believe this is real. That I’ve missed out on so much already.”

“I’m sorry.” She looks down, kissing Caleb on the back of his head.

“I would have moved heaven and earth to get to you. Why didn’t you try harder to find me?”

“Ugh, Cal, how many times do I have to tell you? I tried. I really did.”

“You didn’t try hard enough. You could have told mum about Caleb. She said you never mentioned a baby. If you had, she would have told me and I’d have come home.”

“And have her lecture me? I was already getting an earful from my own mother. I wasn’t about to let your mum give me a lecture, too. She already treated me like I was something she scraped off the bottom of her shoe.”

Every time I look at her, I just can’t get past the hurt. It’s like she’s betrayed me. “There are other ways, Steph. My sister’s on social media. So is Priya. You could have tried harder. Fuck, if it was me, I’d have got on a plane and done all I could to find you.”

“If you’re just going to keep going on. I’m leaving.”

“I’m just saying.”

“You expect me to travel halfway around the world to find you? While pregnant? The farthest I’ve ever travelled is the Mediterranean. What did you want me to do? Go door to door in Sydney? Be realistic, Cal.” I chew on the inside of my mouth to stop myself from boiling over. “As far as I was concerned, your mother had spoken to you, so why would I feel the need to talk to anyone else? How was I to know she never passed on the message?”

Caleb cries out, breaking me from my rant. I stroke his hair and bounce him in my arms.

“I have to go soon. He’s due his feed.”