“I tried. How many times do I have to tell you?”
A puff of air escapes through my clenched jaw. “You didn’t try hard enough. You probably didn’t want me ruining your perfect fucking life.”
“How can you say that? Nothing was perfect.”
“Yeah, I know that, or you wouldn’t have been fucking me. You just wanted people to think it was perfect. Just like your fucking mother. See if Justin will have you back, because I sure as hell won’t.”
“You heartless bastard.”
“That’s rich. I’m heartless? Says you, who used me for a good time, chewed me up and spat me out. You’re probably only here because he doesn’t want you now he’s shacked up with that red-headed bird. I’m nobody’s second, Steph.”
I slow down as I come to another red light. She yanks the handle, and the door flies open.
“What are you doing?”
“Stop the car.” Her words muffle through her sobs. She steps out before the car comes to a stop, and I slam on the brakes. She turns back to me before slamming the door. “You were always my first.”
Fuck, I wish that were true. Every time she ran back to him. She always made it clear that he came first. Even now, letting him babysit when she knew how desperate I was to spend time with Caleb before I have to go back to Australia.
Her full figure gets smaller in the rear-view mirror as I drive away into the night. What the fuck am I doing? She means everything to me, even if I can barely look at her. Maybe she’s right, I should have checked in, gave her my new number, anything. Anger squeezes my insides like an iron fist crumbling my stone heart. I'm mad at myself as much as I am at her. This fucked up situation has me acting like a crazy person, and I’m mad at the world.
Before Steph disappears into the distance, I make a sharp u-turn, and speed back down the road towards her. I might be mad, but I won’t leave her alone again.
* * *
STEPH
I’ve made sucha mess of things. Now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere with no car, watching Callum speed into the night without a care in the world.
The moon tucks behind a cloud, leaving me under a blanket of darkness. I take my phone from my pocket. Please have battery life. Please. I scroll my contacts, skipping past Mum. I can’t deal with a lecture. My sister will come for me. If she answers.
“Steph?”
Hearing her voice makes my shoulders relax, and I let out a breath. “Sam.” I choke back a sob as I say her name. “Can you come and pick me up?”
“Why, where are you?”
“About fifteen minutes away down the A1.”
“Have you broken down?”
I huff. Emotionally, yeah. I feel like I’m having a mental breakdown right now, or feel like breaking his friggin’ neck. “No. I’ll tell you when you get here. I’m walking on the side of the road.”
“Let me change from my pyjamas. See you soon.”
“Thanks.”
As I put the phone back in my pocket, Cal’s car slows at the side of me, driving at the same pace as my steps. I glare at him through the window as he winds it down.
“Get back in the car.”
“Piss off.” I walk faster, though I don’t know why. He’s in a car for frig’s sake.
“Steph. Get in the fucking car. Now.”
I ignore him and pull my cardigan around my body to keep out the cool night air. As if shouting at me is going to make me comply.
“I’m sorry. Okay?”