Forever Mine

“Where are the kids?”

“Caleb’s in his playgym in the living room, and Cassie and Cairen are at Justin’s tonight.”

I pour us both a glass of wine while she walks into the lounge.

“Where’s my beautiful boy?” she coos, making me smile.

She has him on the floor with her when I enter, and she sits up, crossing her legs as I pass her a glass of red.

“Thanks, hun.” She shakes a rattling teddy at Caleb. “Look, Caleb. Tiger.” With a roar, she tickles his tummy using the toy, making him burst into giggles. “You’re going to break some hearts when you’re older. Just like your daddy.”

I tut and sip my wine. “Let’s hope he doesn’t turn out like him.”

Claire faces me. “Okay, what’s happened now? I thought you were getting on.”

I place the wine on the lamp table next to the sofa and bury my face in the palms of my hands. “He’s met some girl called Natalia in Tesco, and he’s taking her out tonight.”

“Which Tesco?”

“What does that matter?”

“I might know her.”

“Well, do you know a Natalia?”

“No, but I know a few staff at the little Tesco near me, if it’s that one. I can text Louise. She might know her.” She shrugs but has a sparkle in her eye when she gives me a mischievous grin.

“Okay, let’s stalk the bitch. Call Louise.” I scooch to the edge of my seat and sip my wine.

Claire calls her friend. “Hi, do you know a Natalia that works at your place?” Claire looks at me. “Is it Natalia or Natalie?”

“I mean, it could be Natalie?” I take another drink.

Claire continues talking into the handset. “She’s going on a date tonight with my friend’s baby daddy, if you must know.”

Baby daddy? Who uses that term? Is that what he is now? Just my baby daddy. What does that make me, his baby mummy?

“Thanks, Em. See ya.” She cancels the call and goes straight onto her socials. “Nathalie Parkin. Age 34. Works at Tesco. Single. Oh my gosh, she’s done a selfie,” Claire squeals, waving her hand in the air. “All set for my date tonight.”

“No friggin’ way.” I snatch the phone and stare at the girl out with my man. My body deflates. Every ounce of air in my lungs escapes as I sigh heavily. My arms curl around my belly and the nausea rises in my throat. It’s like Emily all over again. “She’s pretty.” I choke out.

“Pretty? What are you looking at?” Claire snatches the phone back. “She’s got vinyl eyebrows stuck on for a start, and she’s doing one of those trout pouts. I’m sure those boobs are fake, too. They look too big for her tiny frame.”

Ugh. The wine bottle calls to me from the coffee table. I pour myself another, clinking the glass like music to my ears. Claire’s just trying to make me feel better. The fact that this Natalia is tiny makes me feel worse. I imagine he can throw her around the bedroom. He could only just about lift me. Why did I look at her picture? I was hoping she’d be old or wrinkly. “I’m going to need therapy if I’m going to have to deal with him seeing other women around me.”

Claire leans over and rubs my knee. “Tell him how you feel.”

“He must know how I feel. My feelings haven’t changed. I’ve never stopped loving him. He knows this.”

“Does he though?”

“He says he can’t forgive me.”

“For what?”

I look at Caleb sucking on a crinkly ear of a tiger rattle. “He thinks I could have done more to contact him.” I knock back the rest of the wine in my glass and top myself up.

“You’re not serious?”