The Hit (Team Zulu 1)

I wanted to tell her other things. That she was clever and brave and the most amazing woman I’d ever met. That she was beautiful and so fucking sexy, I could hardly think straight when she was around. And most of all I wanted to tell her I was sending her away because I loved her, not because I didn’t want her. Never that. Instead, I kept my thoughts to myself because it was the only thing I could do to make this easier on her once she left. I needed her to move on with her life, so the less she knew about how I felt, the better.

We took things slowly, each of us focused on the other. Our lips and hands explored what we’d never have the chance to again. These memories would have to last for the lonely months and years ahead.

I moved inside her, over and over until Cam writhed and moaned below me. She cried out. Her release rolled through her in waves as her core clenched around me. When I came, she clung to me like if she held on tight enough, maybe we would never part.

Our chests heaved and a light sheen sparkled along her brow. I brushed a damp strand of hair from her neck and pressed my lips to hers. Her mournful eyes held mine, and I wondered if she thought the same thing as me: how much it fucking sucked that we’d never have a moment like this again. I didn’t share that with her though, because I hadn’t lied when I’d told her this wouldn’t change anything.

I rolled off and maneuvered myself to spoon her. No point trying to put physical distance between us now because I didn’t think she’d let me get far.

Cam squeezed the hand I had splayed over her breastbone. “Can we please talk about this?”

I pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder. “Say what you need to.”

She rolled in my arms to face me; her palms on my chest. She shook her head. “I don’t want to leave you. If you won’t come with me, then I want to stay.”

“You know that’s a bad idea.” I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before cupping her jaw. “Once all this is over, it’ll be safe for you to come back home and get on with your life. But it won’t be with me.” The lump in my throat made it difficult to speak. “You need to let me go, Cam.”

She held my stare and must’ve realized I meant those words because she broke down in my arms and cried. Watching this strong woman fall apart was difficult. All I could do was hold her tight and hope to hell I hadn’t made the biggest mistake of my life.

She sniffled. “Promise me you’ll be all right.” Her hands on my shoulders squeezed hard. “Promise me.” The desperation in her tone told me she needed to hear my reassurance, even though she knew it was a lie.

“I promise.” I kissed her forehead.

The week I’d spent with her would forever mark a defining moment in my life. From here on there would beBefore Cam, andAfter Cam. Our time together would be something I’d treasure always. And as much as I was reluctant to admit it, she had changed me. Who knew I was capable of opening myself up and caring about another human being?

The downside was she’d leave me with scars so deep they’d stay with me forever.