“I don’t understand any of this,” Becca says, walking over and shaking her head.
Tiffany gestures, herding us to the edge of the path.
We all move over to a large tree with a bench beneath it without discussing it. Tiffany sits down, but everybody else remains standing as though we’re too full of energy to sit.
She stands, looking around at the three of us. I can see the love etched into her features when she looks at Alex.
For a crazy second, it reminds me of the way Becca bee has been looking at me lately. It’s the affection in her eyes, bursting out, so much of it I feel like shouting it right here.
I love you, Becca bee.
At least that way, I know I’ve said it. It’s out there before everything becomes a ruin.
Alex sighs, glancing at me.
“When did you know?” I ask.
“I suspected something at the party, before the wedding,” he says.
“What?”Becca and I yell at the same time.
Then our eyes meet – we can’t help it – and share a laugh. The laughter comes from a reflex resulting from spending the last week together.
It dies almost right away, guilt hitting us both.
But when I turn back to Alex, he’s got a faint smile on his face.
“It was when I caught you both at Mom and Dad’s Air BnB – well, not caught. But I could tell something was different. Think about it. I’ve known you both for years. And then at the wedding, I don’t know, there was this energy. And I think we spoke, Ben. I was pretty wasted. But I think we talked about this.”
“We kind of did,” I agree. “But I didn’t tell you I was talking about Becca.”
Each word makes me feel like more of a traitor.
Alex watches me calmly, without judgment, nodding as though he understands.
“There was this energy between you both. I didn’t want to say anything.”
“You were too angry?” I say.
Alex narrows his eyes. Tiffany makes a noise, something between a laugh and a sigh.
It’s like she’s saying, Does his best friend know him at all?
“Angry?” he says, as though confused. “Didn’t you hear me, Ben? I know you both. I know how difficult Becca has found it to be with somebody, anybody. I know she’s never really tried. Hell, I know she gave up without even trying.”
Becca nods, wiping at her cheek. “That’s true.”
“And you, Ben….”
Alex’s expression almost makes me shed a tear too.
It’s the understanding on his face. It’s like I never could’ve hurt him, never ended what we built.
“You were the most obvious of all,” he goes on. “The way you were acting when she was here, all on-edge. And after she left…you’re always a workaholic, so maybe you thought you got away with it by hiding in your work. But I could tell something was up. And then bam, as soon as she’s back, you’re back to acting on-edge. I’m pretty sure she was there last week, at your apartment.”
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head.
“How did you know that?”