But for a woman to see another woman being treated like I’d been treated and not say anything about it? Yeah, that brought out something really bitter inside me.
Still, getting to work at their deli was a break from being stuck at Colin’s house. It was a chance to see people, to make a little of my own money.
And since Colin was getting pestered left and right about how hard it was to find good help, I figured that he might give in if I tried hard enough to get him to let me take the position.
It was only for the weekends anyway. And Colin all but ignored me on the weekends because he was out with his guys or, well, whatever it was he did. I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know.
“Not yet. But I know they still didn’t find anyone, so I am going to try again at dinner,” I told him.
“I really wish things were different,” Nicky said, giving me a sad look.
“I know. Me too. Well, hey, we can always hope I age horribly and he doesn’t find me appealing anymore,” I said, giving him a smile I didn’t feel.
“Take one for the team and pick up smoking. And lying out in the sun. In fact, lie out in the sun while chain-smoking. Really get that wrinkly, leather look going.”
“I will have to give it a try,” I said, opening my door. “You coming in?”
“No,” he said, sounding upset that he had to say it. “Colin has us doing a job tonight.”
Something about his tone said he wasn’t happy about the job. There was an immediately tightening in my stomach at the idea of it being some sort of enforcing job, or—worse yet—a hit that he wanted my brothers to do.
As far as I could tell, they hadn’t needed to do anything that dark yet. But I knew the day would come. It was part of the job. And he would want them to prove their loyalty by doing it.
If I knew Colin, it would also be so he could gather some sort of blackmail on them about the case, so they could never be free of him, or they would face life in prison for what they’d done.
I hated the man with every fiber of my being, but I had to give credit where it was due. He was a clever, calculated bastard. He double and triple stacked his contingency plans.
That was why I hadn’t just tried to run years ago. I knew he would hurt my brothers. But I didn’t know what else he would do, and that was terrifying. Because I knew there would be more.
“Be safe, okay?” I asked, reaching out to give his arm a reassuring squeeze.
“We’ll try,” he assured me. “I’ll come see you if it’s not too late. If it is, I’ll check in first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you,” I said, meaning it. I had no phone. There was no way for me to check in on them, or them with me, without the stopping by.
“Get some rest. Take the vitamins,” he suggested. “They’re worth a try, right?”
And with that, he was gone, leaving me to head into my apartment by myself.
It was a small space, so it had been left as a studio apartment with only the bathroom in its own space. Spacenotbeing the operative word because it was practically the size of the average linen closet. Your knees touched the tub/shower from the toilet and the door to the bathroom had about a third of an inch of clearance from hitting the pedestal sink.
But, hey, it was mine.
I didn’t have to share it with anyone, which was one of the few big wins in my life. I could be stuck in the main house with Colin lurking around every corner.
I mean, I had no delusions of privacy. I knew damn well that he had a key to my main door, and he could have access to me anytime he wanted, a thought that kept me awake at night sometimes when he was extra creepy at dinner. It was actually the reason I risked stealing a hammer from the garage one day, shoving it into the waistband of my pants until I got a chance to tuck it under my pillows as a “just in case” situation when he finally got tired of dangling assault over my head and decided to actually do it.
I figured, if it came to that, and I bashed in his head well enough, I would have a small window of time where I could rush out of there, grab my brothers, and run like hell.
Those were not the kind of thoughts that should comfort a woman, but I had to work with what I had.
The main living space of the apartment was nice enough. Colin had spent some decent money getting it fixed up so that it didn’t look like it was an over-garage apartment.
He’d even gone ahead and decorated it pretty comfortably.
I had a full-sized, with a black metal four-poster bed, but without the linens hung, giving it a sort of industrial fairy tale look, which I didn’t altogether hate.
Across from the bed was a small living space with an off-white loveseat, a matching accent chair, a black coffee table, and a TV.