She nods. "That's very manly of you." She laughs as the plane starts to move, but she doesn't notice. "Did you go home and rub dirt in it?"
"I woke up naked on my leather couch," I tell her the truth, and her eyes go big. "And someone had turned off the air-conditioning." I close my eyes. "I had to peel myself off it." Her mouth drops open. "Would not recommend to anyone." I shake my head as the plane speeds up even faster, and I continue my story so she can concentrate on me and not the fact that we are taking off. "I mean, I recommend Joseph do it and Sheila, but that's about it."
"I would recommend that they pour honey all over their bodies," she suggests. "And then go roll in sand and add in a couple of fire ants for some fun."
"Look outside." She turns her head, and her mouth goes into a smile.
"We took off," she says. "I didn't even notice. I had to share my most embarrassing moment with you." My thumb rubs her hand.
"I don't know how to thank you." Her voice is light, just like it was before the dreaded day. She leans over and kisses my cheek. "You're my hero." My heart speeds up, and my cheek still tingles from where she kissed me. "But seriously." She relaxes in her chair now, but her hand stays in mine. "When did you decide to come?"
"To be honest. It's pretty much a blur." I shake my head, trying to pinpoint that moment, but everything is coming in bits and pieces. "I don't know when exactly I decided to come on this trip, but apparently, it was while ending the second whiskey bottle. During which time, I was stumbling around my house and throwing all of Sheila's shit in a plastic bag. When my alarm went off this morning, I thought the house was on fire. I couldn't understand what was going on. I also couldn't find where the fucking blaring alarm was coming from. I kept walking around the house with one eye open because the other one was seeing double."
Her mouth opens as she tries not to laugh, but her blue eyes light up. "Where did you find it?"
"Right on top of the suitcase." I shake my head. "I almost killed myself because I kept tripping all over Sheila's shit that was scattered all over the house."
"I thought you said it was in a bag?" She’s trying not to laugh.
"No, that was the plan." I laugh at myself. "But I didn't exactly open the bag to put the stuff in, so it made a path all through the house." She puts her hand in front of her mouth. "Also did that fully naked, so that was fun." Her head goes back, and she laughs again. "I took it as a sign that I should come and drown my sorrows in the sand."
"Well, I think that was a great decision," she says. "We can drown together."
"Besides"—I look around—"I can only endure so many looks of pity."
"My mother was still giving me the look this morning when she asked me if it was smart that I go." She shrugs.
"Your mother was the first pity look I got." I laugh at her. "I mean, I'm sure I got lots of them walking down the aisle after you and ignoring Sheila." The attendant comes over when the seat belt sign goes off.
"Can I get you guys something to drink?"
"I'll have another mimosa, and he'll have a whiskey," Shelby says.
I shake my head. "I'll just have ice water."
"How are we supposed to drown our sorrows with ice water?" she huffs, and I laugh. She finally lets my hand go.
"I was so parched this morning," I tell her. "I drank my shower water while it was pouring on my face."
She laughs again. "This is going to be a great week." She turns to look out the window. "I can feel it."
"I don't want to feel anything this week," I mumble when the attendant comes over with a tray and hands me my water, and Shelby leans across me to get her mimosa.
"To an unforgettable week." She holds up her glass. "Oh, wait, is that right?" She looks to the side now. "Do we want to forget this week, or do we want to forget last week?" I roll my lips to keep from laughing at her as she works it out in her head. "Whatever." She holds her glass up, and I clink it.
The rest of the flight is uneventful, and I doze off for a bit, waking up when I hear the captain announcing that we will be arriving in fifteen minutes. My neck hurts from staying in the same position for too long. Something tickles my nose, and I look down to see Shelby's head falling off my shoulder. I think about waking her, but I know that she hates flying, so instead, I let her sleep until the wheels touch down. "Hey." I put my cheek on her head. "We're here."