That’s why I have to get this job. My savings are okay at the moment (thank you Club Z) but they won’t last forever, so I’ve got to pick myself up by my bootstraps. After all, it’s not just me anymore. I have a child to look out for now, and I already love him or her with my whole heart. After all, this baby was made with love, and even if I’m not with the father anymore, it doesn’t change anything. This child is Frank’s last gift to me, and I’ll cherish him with every cell of my being.
I huff out a quiet laugh as I rest a hand on my stomach, smiling as I attempt to blink away the tears in my eyes. Things definitely turned out different from what I expected, that’s for sure. At the beginning, I thought I’d do my penance in Missouri and then return to the city to take up right where I’d left off. Then, things changed when I met Frank. Suddenly, I fell in love with a new type of life, and I fell in love with the man as well. Maybe things didn’t work out, but you don’t get everything you want in life. I’m older and wiser now, and while I’m broken-hearted at leaving Frank, at least now I’ll always have a part of him with me no matter where I go.
13
FRANK
I sigh as I pace around my bedroom, trying to work up the courage to hit the call button. It’s so pathetic. I don’t have the guts to reach out to Hadley, and as a result, I’m calling her mother as a roundabout way of digging around. I desperately want to know what my love is up to, but it seems too pig-headed to ask directly. After all, maybe Hadley hates my guts and never wants to speak to me again. Or even worse, maybe she’s already completely forgotten about Renfrew Acres. Maybe she already has a new boyfriend and is having rabbit sex with him in his penthouse in NYC as we speak. The thought makes me nauseous, and that’s exactly why I haven’t called.
But I can’t help the curiosity brimming in my chest, so I hit dial and within moments, Patricia’s face lights up the screen. My sister greets me with a smile, the wrinkles around her mouth deepening.
“Hey Frank,” she says in a warm tone. “How are you?”
“Hey Patricia,” I swallow thickly. “I’m good. Are you busy right now? I can call back later.”
She squints a bit because we don’t talk often, but what’s a conversation between siblings? She shakes her head.
“No, now is fine. Why, what’s up?”
I think about trying to make some meaningless small talk, but the churning in my stomach makes the idea unpalatable. Better to dive straight in.
“Actually, I wanted to see how Hadley’s doing,” I say in a smooth tone. “Renfrew Acres isn’t the same without her, and Kelso, our donkey, misses your daughter a lot.”
As do I, I think in a glum tone. I’d give anything for Hadley to return.
But my sister blinks, looking confused all of a sudden.
“What do you mean, how is she doing? I thought Hadley was still in Missouri with you.”
Now I’m the one who’s confused. What is she talking about? Hadley left nearly a month ago, so she’s definitely not in Parson.
“No, she left. A while ago, in fact,” I say in a sharp tone.
Pat shrugs with bewilderment.
“Well, she’s not here with me in New Jersey. Maybe she went back to her life in Manhattan,” my sister speculates. “I mean, Hads is twenty-five so she doesn’t keep me updated on her comings and goings. It’s totally possible that she went back to the city and didn’t tell us,” Pat says, seemingly unconcerned.
Yet, the sick feeling in my stomach tells me that that’s not what happened because Hadley was a changed woman when she left this farm. She was no longer the girl that had first shown up on my doorstep with a head full of air and addicted to social media. There’s no way that she would have gone back to her former lifestyle because it just doesn’t make sense.
But it’s also clear that my sister has no idea of all the changes that happened.
“I see,” is all I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “Well, it seems that neither of us know. Maybe I’ll hit her up on Facebook and touch base that way.”
“Sure,” my sister nods helpfully. “You know how kids are these days. They’re glued to their phones 24/7, so reach out to her there. Or maybe on Instagram, or that new platform, TikTok. I think Hadley’s on all three, so you’ll be able to find her somehow.”
I conceal my snort because the new Hadley isn’t into that shit. She’s into things that matter now, like the beauty of Nature and the passing of the seasons. But I keep my tone light and carefree.