“I’ll be safe.”
“Stress could affect the baby.”
Jesus Christ!
I cleared my throat. “We don’t even know if I’m pregnant. If you keep this up, you’ll speak it into existence.”
“Then we find out as soon as we return to Russia.” He studied me. “Okay?”
I wanted to force his attention elsewhere. I didn’t like being this open with anyone.
He waited patiently despite the silent seconds ticking by and the general waiting for us. He didn’t push or prod me further, and I had a strong suspicion he’d wait until the end of time. There was no avoiding this topic anymore.
Why did he have to look at me that way? And why did he have to always sound like he was serenading my soul?
“Okay. That’s fine. I’ll check when I get back to Moscow.” I moved my gaze from him. Sometimes staring at him, being bound by his gaze, flayed me too close to the bone. In these moments, Kazimir had complete access to my insides. And, at this time, my heart was too raw from death.
A knock came.
“Sir?” This time the guard’s voice came out shaky. “The general asked me to hurry you along.”
Kazimir watched me as if he could see through every inch of me.
“Sir?”
Softly, he whispered, “One day you won’t be so afraid of being vulnerable. And you won’t be afraid of us either, or what we can become. I know this because I’ve just stopped being afraid.”
I damn near lost my voice. “I believe you.”
His soft expression shifted back to a harder one as moved away from me. In that moment, I knew Kaz—my passionate lion—was no longer in the room. Now it was Kazimir Solonik, one of the most wanted men in the world.
“I don’t want him to know what you look like.” An edge lay in Kazimir’s tone. “But he already knows. They all know. I’m sure they know everything about you. Where you live? Where you were born? Your past. Definitely your present.”
While I was used to people looking into me, I’d never had a large government stalk me.
“Go in. Be yourself. Just stay silent.”
I nodded.
“Do you understand why you’ll stay silent?”
I wasn’t sure, but I tried to give him my thoughts. “Because I don’t understand Russian business and politics. I might mess up somehow, and besides…you have control of this. I just want to have your back.”
“You make my cock hard when you talk that way.” He groaned and pressed his body against mine, planting my frame further between him and the wall. “But no, mysh. You’re going to stay silent, not because you may mess up or because you don’t get my country’s politics. You’re going to stay silent because none of Smirnov’s generals deserve to hear words come from those beautiful lips.”
He made me feel invincible. Even in danger, he took time to adore me. That would either get us killed or keep us alive, forever.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I stiffened, feeling weak in a way I’d always despised—especially in front of Kazimir. There weren’t many times where I became anxious dealing with someone. It only came when the players involved people I cared for like Darryl and Maxwell. Other times, when I’d had to maneuver out of some crazy criminal’s plot, I’d found joy in the breakdown.
But with Kazimir, more and more I experienced fear. Life with him was too good. Every moment in his arms gave me hope for the future. He made me believe in things I’d never thought would be my own reality. Other women would get the kids, the happy marriage, the nice retirement party surrounded by family and friends. In the back of my mind, long ago, I’d secretly thought I would die by a bullet or someone’s sharp blade, and it would be over the love of money—mine or the killer’s.
Kazimir changed that.
How easy had it been to play dark games with criminals when I’d had nothing to lose.
Now, I had everything that could be destroyed. I had love. I had hope. Some sort of fabulous future forming ahead of me. I even had the audacity to dream.
I’d been on top in Harlem, and I’d thought it was my brain that got me there. But it was my lack of a heart. Now, I stood on the other side of the globe, heavy with love. I just prayed this love didn’t make me too slow and have me losing it all.
They better not point a gun at him. Not one.
He kissed me again and then pulled away. “Let’s go.”
I focused on breathing and followed him.
He opened the door and tension rose around me. Soldiers packed the entire space. They held guns but weren’t shooting—their weapons remained at their sides.
Kazimir’s men also had their guns out, and I could tell that not one person with their gun out wanted to be there. It didn’t look like the Bratva wanted to have a shootout with the Russian military, and the soldiers damn sure didn’t want one with us.