STELLA
My morning shower can’t wash off the embarrassing mistakes of last night, first was letting Jens touch me so much (which he never fucking does unless he’s jealous. It’s complicated.). Second, getting so drunk that I threw up all night and am completely hungover today. Last, and certainly the worst, I kissed Antonio… but not for any eyes to prove our“relationship,”just for myself. Because I wanted to, and because I’m ridiculous.
It’s too bad that my deal with Antonio goes both ways. A man in my bed last night might have been just what I needed to stop me from making that frivolous mistake with Antonio. It was just a hiccup, though. Nothing more than a heat of the moment hiccup. Yeah. That’s it.
It has to have been a culmination of everything, the drama of the day all muddied in my drunken brain. I would have never, under good conscience, kissed him in private like that. It’s just too complicated to give in to fleeting sexual feelings. If I bring it up, as embarrassing as it is, I could avoid any dangerous assumptions that I’ve changed the rules.
I slip out of my room in only my robe, my hair air drying, skin still glowing from my facial. There's sizzling in the kitchen, and it smells like bacon. Changing might be a good idea if we have a chef here. I’d prefer them not to see me in only a robe. Then again, I’d prefer Antonio not to either…
I whip around, heading back up the stairs, watching my feet carefully, not wanting to slip and make a bigger noise. My mistake is that I forget to look up and collide into Antonio’s stomach, who looks worse than I feel. I don’t remember him being drunk last night.
“Shit, Stell.”
“Sorry, I-“ my eyes fix on the figure lurking behind him, a woman in a shimmering short green bodycon dress. I don’t know where it’s from, but I refrain from even lingering on that too long because it’s obvious she spent the night. Why is my chest tightening? I squint back at him.
“What the fuck?” He looks at her for a second, and she’s terrified now. The look in my eyes can be deadly when I want it to be. After a second of silence and me not letting either of them pass, he pinches between his eyes, sighing in exasperation.
“Babe, she’s just a friend….”
I can’t be bothered to play the part he’s attempting to recover simply because he fucked up, so I push past him and head to my room. Slam the door, flop on the bed, and scream into my pillow for good measure. If he was spotted, this could mean the end of our plan, and I’ll be even further away from where I was when we started this stupid charade.
“Sorry about that….” I hear Antonio sending the skank off. Sorry, I’m sure she’s lovely, probably smart— though I don’t know to what degree if she slept with him. He broke the most important rule of our entire arrangement. I don’t understand why it’s pissing me off so much. If anyone knew about it, I’d be getting texted links to articles by now. This is a business deal, our relationship is fake, and the kiss meant nothing.
A knock on my door makes me turn my eyes to it, and as it slowly opens, Antonio appears, leaning in the doorway.
“I didn’t say you could come in.”
“But I knocked.”
I narrow my eyes at his amused look.
“What the fuck, Antonio?” It’s like he’s lost his sensitivity, and I feel the wall between us, but I don’t know why.
“Stell, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“You had sex with her.”
“Nothing happened between us, Stell.”.”
I grab my pillow and chuck it across the room as hard as possible.
“Get out!” I shout, and he sits on my bed. “Get out!” I say again into my pillow.
“This is my place, you get—“ He clears his throat, stopping himself from ordering me to do something I would gladly oblige to, just to spite his frivolous words. “I’m sorry,” he relents. I raise my brows in response, turning my face to him.
“Sorry?”
“Yes, Stella. I, Antonio San Giovanni, am sorry.”
“Why?”
“For bringing a girl home and—“ I lift a hand to stop him while he’s at it.
“No. Why did you do it?” He studies my face for a second, his bright-green eyes filled with thoughts I hadn’t noticed before. There’s a wall he’s put up, but I think he pushes a brick out. It gives me a peer into him, only for a moment. It’s clear there is sadness behind his eyes, but I don’t know why. He sucks in a deep breath, letting it out with the fall of his shoulders.
“I have needs.” He shrugs, but I don’t like his answer.
“Hm.” I sit up so that our shoulders are touching. “Well, figure out a different way to… satisfy those needs.” I nudge him with my shoulder as he looks at the floor.