Father Christmas

“Finnegan,” Gran says. “Can you understand why this relationship might be concerning to some of us?”

“I absolutely can,” he says. “Frankly, if Astrid had brought home a guy twice her age, I would’ve had a big problem with it, and not just because I love her.”

“But it’s fine since it’s you, is that it?” Mom scowls. “Do you honestly think Jamie would be okay with his best friend dating his teenage daughter?”

“No,” he says, which isn’t the response I expected. “If you asked him outright, I don’t think he be okay with this at all. But I think he’d want her to be with someone who treasures her. Someone who’d lay down his life to protect her, and do whatever’s necessary to support her, while encouraging her to follow her dreams.”

“And you’re that person?”

“I know I am,” he says.

Mom folds her arms across her chest. “Really? You’re going to give up your flashy job in Nashville to move back to Troy to take care of her and your child?”

“No,” I interrupt. “He isn’t.”

Finn looks at me sidelong. “Astrid, I already said I’d do all that.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to.” I pivot to face him. “If it’s okay, I’d like to come stay with you in Nashville.”

“Excuse me?” Mom says. “You’re saying you want to leave New York?”

“Yes, Mom, that’s what I’m saying. I love you, but I don’t want to live in Troy my whole life.”

“We can go wherever you want, baby,” Finn says.

Mom glares at his hand on my shoulder. “And now you’re trying to isolate her from her family.”

“No,” I say. “He’s offering me a choice. I’ve already applied to nursing programs in other states, including Tennessee.”

Gran smiles and pats my hand. “Good for you, sweetheart.”

“You want to go to nursing school?” Mom asks. “Well, that’s wonderful, but why am I just hearing about it now?”

“Because I knew you’d try to convince me to pick a program close to home. You’ve done everything you could to stop me from leaving since Dad died.”

“That’s not true.”

“Elaine, she’s right and you know it.” Gran sighs heavily; I have a feeling she’s been waiting a long time to say that. “I have watched you hold Astrid back long enough.”

Mom scoffs. “What, because I don’t want her to end up like her dad? Jamie was your son, Doreen. You, of all people, should understand why I don’t want my daughter driving off into the sunset, with her uncle.”

Gran’s jaw twitches. Unlike my mom, who would rant and rave at a rainstorm ‘til it soaked her to the bone, when Gran gets pissed, she doesn’t yell or scream. She goes quiet, like the calm before a clap of thunder.

“What happened to Jamie broke my heart, Elaine. But seeing his daughter grow into a beautiful, intelligent young woman, helped piece my broken heart back together. When I look at Astrid, I see my son. He lives through her. I think you see the same thing, and that’s why you don’t want to let her go.”

Mom glowers at her clasped fingers on the table, her expression leaden with grief and anger. The sheltered little girl in me wants to assure her that it’ll all be fine and I’ll be home after Christmas. But I’ve placated my mother’s fears long enough. She needs to hear this.

“You and I aren’t going to be around forever,” Gran says. “Do you expect Astrid to wait until you’re gone to start her life?”

After a long stretch of silence, Mom finally shakes her head. I reach across the table to grasp her hand.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“Me, too. I should have told you.”

She sucks air through her nose. She isn’t crying, but she looks like she could erupt any second. “I can’t promise I’ll ever be thrilled about this relationship. But, for the sake of our relationship, I’ll try to find a way to be okay with it.”

Relief melts over me. “Thank you.”