Reckless Love (Cowboys & Angels 7)

“They had to take her, but she’s in the NICU and in an incubator.”

Scarlett’s hand came up to her mouth, tears pooling in her eyes. Standing, I leaned over and kissed her lips.

“Scarlett, listen to me. She’s okay. She’s going to be okay. Please don’t worry. I need you to stay calm, okay?”

A sob slipped from her lips. “She? We had a girl?”

With a wide grin, I nodded. “Told you it was a girl.”

Her cries quickly turned to laughter, then she stopped. Pain crept into her eyes and she closed them.

“Ouch. I’m so sore.”

Leaning over, I hit the nurse’s call button. “Let me have the nurse come in, maybe they can give you medicine. They had to do an emergency C-section to get the baby out. The baby was in distress, and Dr. Buten felt the best thing to do was deliver her now.”

“Oh my God. Trevor, she’s only thirty-weeks old!”

“I know, but she’s doing good. They have her in the incubator to regulate her temperature. She also has oxygen and a feeding tube.”

Scarlett closed her eyes again, and I watched as a tear managed to slip through, drawing a path down her soft cheek. Reaching over, I wiped it away.

“Have you seen her yet?” she asked, still squeezing her eyes shut.

“No. I wanted to be with you when you woke up, so I could let you know what happened.”

Her eyes flew open. “Trevor, you need to get to her. Touch her, talk to her. Let her know we’re here. Please. Please go to her.”

The monitor that measured Scarlett’s heartrate was climbing. The door to her room opened and the nurse quickly walked in.

“Hey there, let’s take a few deep, calming breaths, Mom. We need you to stay calm, okay?”

Scarlett nodded. “I’m so sorry. My…baby…” Sobs hit her again and I could tell they were both emotional and physical. She had to be in pain.

“It’s okay, Ms. Littlefield. Once I get your pain under control, we’ll get you into a wheelchair and bring you to see her. But not for a few hours, okay? You just had major surgery, so we need to take it easy.”

With a nod, Scarlett took in a few deep breaths.

“Now, I’m going to give you something for the pain.”

Turning to me, Scarlett forced a smile. “Trevor, will you please go see our baby?”

I glanced up at the nurse. She nodded. “I’ll show you to the NICU as soon as we get Ms. Littlefield settled.”

Scarlett and I exchanged a small smile. We never did manage to get married but that didn’t matter. To me she was already mine, to hell about a piece of paper.

“We need to pick out a name for her,” I whispered as I kissed the back of her hand gently, careful not to touch her IV.

“Well, we had it narrowed down to two.”

The nurse grinned as she pushed the syringe into the IV port.

“What were the two names?” the nurse asked.

“Paisley or Aurora,” I replied.

“Both are beautiful. I think you should see her first, then decide.”

I shook my head. “No, I want Scarlett to decide.”

With a soft smile, Scarlett said, “Take a video of her and we’ll decide together.”

The nurse smiled. “That is a perfect idea. Scarlett, that medicine is going to make you sleepy, and the more you sleep the better, okay?”

Scarlett nodded and closed her eyes. Before I knew it, she was back asleep.

Swallowing hard, I kissed her forehead. “I’m going to go see our baby girl.”

Her eyes barely opened, and she mumbled, “Tell her Mommy loves her.”

I fought to hold back my tears. This wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to see our baby without Scarlett.

“Will do.”

Stepping back, I studied her. She looked peaceful and no longer in pain as she drifted off to sleep.

“Resting is the best thing for her, Mr. Parker. Let’s go see your baby.”

When we stepped out of the room and into the hall, I stopped walking abruptly. The nurse turned and faced me. Tilting her head in question, she studied me.

“I can’t do it. I can’t see the baby without her. It’s not right.”

“Mr. Parker, what you’re feeling is natural, but I heard your wife pleading for you to go to the baby and I agree with her. The faster you connect with her, the better it will be for you and for the baby.”

My hand rubbed the back of my neck. “She wasn’t planned, and the first time I found out about her…wasn’t exactly good. I just don’t want the first time I meet my daughter to be…without Scarlett. We seem to keep doing everything backwards.”

When my voice cracked, the nurse took a step closer and reached for my hand.

“I know what you’re going through. The whole reason I became a nurse was because I went into labor at thirty-two weeks. I couldn’t see my baby for five days, I developed an infection. My husband was scared to death to see that tiny little thing. He was afraid she would bond with him and not me. It was the hardest thing I ever went through, and I know it was for him too. Each time he came into my room, I saw the guilt on his face, but I promise you, I wanted him with our baby more than I wanted him with me. Scarlett feels the same way. Her mothering instincts have already kicked in, sweetie. I promise you, later this evening we’ll get her up and take her to the baby.”