I know there are still a few … risqué videos …still lingering on the web. It’s possible he’s watched those, but if he has, he doesn’t let on. Perhaps, though, what’s happened most recently far outweighs the past.
I have to consciously stop my racing thoughts before the spiral begins and it’s then that I notice how the chatter has stopped.
“Ella.” Kam’s voice is the first I hear as I take in the group of men. He’s already taken off his suit jacket. It’s hanging over the back of a mahogany stool with navy blue tufted upholstery at the kitchen island. The kitchen is a stark white with the same porcelain tiles as the foyer to my right, but the dark navy of the stools is echoed to the left, covering the walls including the wainscoting and coffered ceiling.
“Finally.” He announces the word with his hands up, arms outstretched. His charming smile greets me just before he embraces me. Kamden’s never been a large man and he’s always had a smaller frame, but like me, it appears he’s lost weight. His jawline shows it the most.
I vaguely wonder how else he’s been affected. I know his boyfriend left him when I was first committed. He wasn’t well then either, but in the months I’ve been away, I haven’t heard from him apart from his plans to get me home.
In my heels, I’m eye level with him.
“Finally,” I repeat, echoing his upbeat and relieved tone. It does wonders for my mood. To see him, to hold his hands and know I’m safe. To feel truly protected. This man would move mountains for me. He has before.
“How are you feeling?” Before I can answer, he lifts a brow and comments as he moves to the sitting room with me trailing behind him, “It was fucking freezing when I first got here. How the hell do we turn this fireplace on?” If his tone is anything to go by, today is any other day and the last year didn’t happen.
Oh, how I wish. All the wishes don’t add up to anything I can hold on to, though.
The silence is uncomfortable as all the men in the room watch me, all six of them, and the only thing that can be heard are my heels muted by the rug as I slip across the room to flick the switch to the gas fireplace. It ticks steadily until it lights, and then blue flames rage from the crystals.
“Ah,” Kam says, then claps and makes his way to stand beside me. “What would I do without you?”
His calming and comforting voice only eases the brokenness slightly. His genuine smile produces fine lines around his eyes that I never noticed before.
“It’s been a cold year,” I tell him and my throat turns tight.
“It’ll warm up soon, babe,” he replies and quickly turns, no doubt in an attempt to hide any true emotion that brought the glossiness to his gaze. If he thinks I didn’t see it, he’s mistaken.
One breath in, one breath out.
“I’m sorry it took this long.” His apology grabs my attention and I catch his gaze skipping from my collarbone back up to meet mine when he asks, “Have you eaten?”
Self-consciously, I reach up to pull the blouse back in place.
Cade cuts in before I can answer that I don’t think I’ve eaten since this morning. “Should we discuss the menu that was suggested—”
“Absolutely not, she can have whatever it is that she wants to eat. There’s no reason that she can’t,” Kam cuts him off, responding with a strictness that he’s always had. Ever since I was a teenager, when my dad died and Kam took me in to keep me from going to the state, I’ve never wanted for anything a second longer than it took for me to tell Kamden what it was I’d set my sights on.
Whether it be food, drugs … a man. He’s the brother of my long-time friend Trish, although I haven’t seen her in forever. He’s a good friend, a father figure in some ways, but in all things, my rock. If I’m honest, I felt most comfortable with him more than anyone else simply knowing his preference for men. I could tell him anything, show him anything, and he would never use me as other men had tried. Hiring him as my manager was unquestionably the easiest decision I’ve ever made with my estate. Recently, he’s also become my conservator.
“Everything was a misunderstanding and that place did more harm than good,” Kam says, meeting my eyes rather than Cade’s or the other men in the room I’ve yet to be introduced to.
A misunderstanding.The very word steals my breath.
“What’ll it be?” Kam asks, ready to take any order I give him and, in my periphery, Cade watches the two of us. I don’t miss the skepticism. Kam’s gotten me out of trouble for years. Never anything like this, though.
“I think I’d like to go over the necessities and meet these … gentlemen first?” I state, turning slightly so I’m facing the room. With the fire blazing just beside me, my back is to the corner. As the sun sets beyond the paned windows, the fire casts a shadow along the man standing the closest to me at the end of the long white couch.
The roaring flames seem to dance a little hotter as I take him in. His white collared shirt is tight over his broad shoulders. I’m not certain if it’s the lighting or something else that makes him appear even more intimidating in my home than he did in the courtroom. There’s a tension that crackles, an undeniable feeling that’s nearly suffocating as I force myself to meet his stare and not to back down. His eyes are gorgeous, a concoction of shades of emerald and ambers, his jaw chiseled as he remains where he is across from me.
After a moment he nods, acknowledging me for the first time.
I dare to speak, barely breathing. Interrupting whatever is brewing between Kam and Mr. Thompson, I comment, “Let’s get on with it,” and with that I break this man’s gaze to turn to the room again. “Shall we?”