ZANDER
The city was going by in the background without making any impression before, but now it’s in vivid detail. My main priority is getting to Ella. There’s an anxiousness I haven’t felt for her before. A need to protect her.
I know the situation is complicated, but this part seems simple. Get to her. Get to her. Get to her. I ignore my phone vibrating in the passenger seat; one glance in the rearview and I know it’s Damon calling.
Friendship be damned, I won’t make the mistake of not fighting for her to have a say in this. If nothing else, she deserves to hear from me and know this wasn’t my choice.
With the tires screeching and my nerves still rattled, I pull into the parking lot six minutes later. The office is on the top floor of a two-story building. We chose the location because we considered possible press coverage when we designed her protection plan. She’s not unknown to the world, and no matter how slim the chances, we had to prepare for everything. It’s harder to take photos of a person when they’re not at ground level.
It’s then that I consider what exactly I’m about to walk into. I can already feel the betrayed gaze of my brother and the sick feeling that comes with it.
The second the car door shuts with a thunk, my name is shouted from Damon’s car pulling in beside me. In the shade of the towering building, a chill settles over me and I ignore Damon, I ignore the gut instinct to give my brother space now that he knows what I’ve done.
Instead, one foot moves in front of the other, but not fast enough.
Damon throws himself out of the driver’s seat so fast that the door hangs open after him. “You can’t do this,” he shouts although there’s a pleading tone in his voice. We’re both angling for the entrance, and he collides with me as I’m reaching for the door. His shoulder is pressed to my shoulder and I’m met with a desperation in his gaze as I can feel his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. The momentum takes me a few feet away but I’m determined. “Zander. You can’t go in there. You’re off her detail.” His voice is low and careful, but again, his tone is begging me not to go in there.
For her sake or mine? Maybe both. “Your brother said you can’t—”
“That doesn’t fucking matter. I’m seeing her, and you can’t stop me.” With my hand wrapped around the steel handle of the black glass door, Damon’s splays against it, preventing me from opening it. The sleeve of his coat slides down his forearm.
“You’re caught, man. Nobody’s going to let you do anything until Cade figures shit out. We might have to have a hearing if Kamden pushes this, which—to be fucking blunt—I would if I were him. And even if we don’t and everything blows over, The Firm can’t let you see her.” His dark eyes are wide. He presses his free hand flat to my chest, pushing me back and I release my grip on the handle, dropping my arm to my side. He’s at least as strong as I am, but he knows better than to square up with me.
More importantly, I want this more than he does. I want to get in more than he wants to keep me out. “We can’t let you see her.”
Gritting my teeth and reining in as much anger as I can, I push out, “That’s not up to you. She has control over her life. You can’t forbid me from seeing her.”
“We can. As a member of The Firm—”
“Then I’ll fucking quit, if that’s what it takes. None of you can unilaterally determine that I’m a threat to her if she wants to see me. And I’m not going to stop.” My breaths are deep and slow, although my pulse is raging in my ears.
Even if adrenaline is coursing through my veins, my mind is clear. I’m only focused on this. Getting to her. To hear what she has to say.
“You know just as well as I do, that doing this could hurt her,” I say, reminding him of his duty as her therapist. “Ripping away someone who was helping her.”
“Zander …” My name comes out like a warning as he shakes his head.
Damon can pretend it’s not in her best interest, but it is. It’s a crucial component to her healing. If they keep us apart when she doesn’t want that, it could send her spiraling. “If she needs me in there, you’re fucked. You know that, right? If taking her away from me compromises her health, you are fucked. Try explaining that to the judge.”
“Zander—” I reach around him and he catches my wrist in one hand.
I break his hold. Of course I do. I’ve trained for this, same as he has, and something in the movement must tell him that I’m serious because he backs off half a step, his hands up. “Did they change the location of the safe house?”
His lips form a thin line. I’m being a dick right now, and I know that. He’s not supposed to tell me anything about Ella’s location. Private citizen or not. Member of The Firm or not. But we’ve got a lot of history between us.
“You can refuse to tell me if you want, but I’ll just search every building in the city until I find her. I’ll search the whole damn world.”
Damon lets out a breath, defeated. “They didn’t change it. She’s upstairs as far as I know.”
My next step forward is determined, emotions I didn’t expect spurring me on.
“Just—” Damon moves to block me. “It’s not good, Z. They’ve got proof of what you did. This isn’t going to turn out well for you, and it might destroy the rest of us. It would be better if you went back to the motel and let Cade handle it. If you did that, maybe there would be a way to figure things out. I don’t know.”
Swallowing thickly, I nod, acknowledging that I know I put them in jeopardy. “If it goes to court, I’ll testify none of you knew a damn thing. That I doctored the security footage so no one else would know about us.”
“Just stop—”
“You don’t get it. I’m not leaving her up there.” My throat goes tight, my heart beating too hard to be contained. “Things aren’t finished between us. This is about more than what I want. Hell, what I want doesn’t mean a damn thing right now. She tells me to back off, and I will. But I have to know. I have to hear it from her. She gets to make that choice.”