Secrets & Submission

A knot forms in my chest and I readjust to sit up, to feel the cool air against my heated face. “I think I did all I should for today.”

I peek up at Zander to find him considering the bag of clothes. He doesn’t question anything, he only nods and then pushes the drawer shut to lean against the dresser, keeping his arm around his waist to pull me along with him.

With his legs bent on either side of me, both arms wrapped around me and my head resting against his shoulder, he sits with me, in this room that doesn’t belong to either of us.

It belongs to what once was.

My exhale shudders out of me. Unsteady and daring me to let my thoughts wander.

“You came in with a purpose. I will stay until you’ve done what you wanted.” I tilt my head back to peer up at Zander, who takes his time to look back down at me.

“What are you going to do? Follow me from room to room?” I don’t hide the incredulousness from my tone.

His answer is as simple as it is definitive. “If that’s what you need.”

“You have more important things to do than to babysit me.”

“No, Ella, I don’t.”

For the second time in only moments, I feel caught, but safe. Seen and protected. All at once, it’s suffocating and I tear my gaze from his. Staring across the room, I tell him, “I had planned to do one drawer.”

“It looks like you did that.”

I can only nod, my snide thoughts telling me I should have stopped while I was ahead. “I did.”

“Next time I’d like you to tell me.” His strong hand wraps around my thigh. “Poor Damon was standing outside of the door not knowing what to do with himself.”

Surprised, I turn to face Zander, who grins at my shock.

“No he wasn’t.”

He laughs slightly, his broad chest shaking as he does. He nods and tells me, “He was.”

Brushing at my knee, I stare at the thick accent rug, feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean to make him worry.”

“We can’t help but worry,” he tells me. His thumb runs along my cheek, as if he’s brushing away tears that no longer exist. “I want to be here for you. Don’t deprive me of that, my little bird.”

My heart thumps, loud and heavy. Refusing to go unnoticed. Three words nearly slip from my lips, reckless and nothing but raw emotion. The moment I catch them, I swallow them down. I haven’t forgotten Damon’s comment about displacing my feelings.

Zander stands slowly, holding his hand out for me. “Come.” He towers over me.

There’s a question that lingers, that begs to be spoken. Asking if we’ll ever be more. With my small hand in his, I consider asking him, letting it out and seeing where the chips may fall.

“You did well today. I’m proud of you,” he tells me. Like a Dom speaks to his submissive. Matter of fact.

“Thank you,” I whisper and the chill of the room creeps over my shoulders.

The question goes unasked. We’ve both already loved. I’ll never be the woman he met in the bar who made him laugh. And he’ll never be the man who wanted me so desperately that he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

He’s only my Dom. And to him, I am only his submissive.

It’s only when we’re leaving, the bag and rumpled rugby shirt staying where they are, that I notice the rain has stopped.