Secrets & Submission
Page 156
I know now. And I will fix this. If it’s the last fucking thing I ever do, I will fix this.
She meets my eyes, and Ella’s softening now. Giving in.
“Z,” she says softly. Her heart is broken. I can hear it in her voice.
“Who am I to you?”
“My Dom.”
“That’s right. Act like it.” She stiffens.
My heart pounds viciously as I gentle my tone to add, “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widen as we stand in our embrace. “I should have caught you and stopped you from running. I should have been stricter and transparent at the party,” I say, lifting her chin with my forefinger, forcing her to look at me when she attempts to look away.
“Tonight was my fault, but you shouldn’t have run and you better not push me away.”
She swallows thickly.
“Who am I to you?” I ask for the final time, running my hands down her shoulders in a soothing motion. She’s fragile right now. Far too fragile to punish how I’d like.
More tears glisten in her eyes, and she releases a heavy breath. The horrible distance I felt when I came into the room fades. I’m relieved as all hell. I couldn’t have lived with myself if Ella put up more walls or, God forbid, ran away from me again. I’ve survived plenty of things, but that’s the limit.
“You’re my Dom,” Ella says confidently and calmly.
Those words out of her mouth are all I need to know it’ll be okay. At least for tonight.
“Are you done, jailbird?”
Ella steels herself. “You … you should probably go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“It’s my wants you should concern yourself with. Let go of every other thought. I want you right now. Fuck, no. I need you right now. I’m not leaving, and neither are you.” The confidence comes easy now. We’re in the roles we’re meant to play. I’m her Dom, and she’s not going to send me away. “You’re going to get into that bed, and I’m going to hold you until you close your eyes. You’re going to sleep off the alcohol and every other messed-up thought you just had. And when you wake up, and I make sure you’re all right—”
“Z,” she says, her voice nearly breaking into a whimper.
“After that.” I lower my voice and pull her face close to mine. I want my jailbird to hear every word. She might not be certain of us right now. She might be too shaken to realize that I’m never leaving. But for tonight, she’s going to know exactly what’s coming next. “You’re going to pay for what you just did, Ella.”
She makes a soft sound.
“Your ass is going to feel that punishment. Your cunt. Your mouth. I’m going to claim every inch of you until there isn’t a single thought in that pretty little head of yours other than that you belong to me.”
With a hand over hers and the other on the small of her back, I lead her to the bed, gently but demanding. “Under the covers,” I tell her, pulling back the sheets.
She doesn’t hesitate to get into bed, but she doesn’t lie down. Instead she pulls the sheet to her chest and peers up at me with wide eyes brimming with emotion. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“The fact that you asked me that tells me I haven’t done the job I need to.” I didn’t think it was possible to feel such a drift from her. She’s pulled away, but I’ll pull her right back and hold on to her forever.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I tell her to lie down. I kick off my shoes and strip down to my boxers before climbing into bed, pulling her back into my chest and kissing her hair. It only takes a few minutes before her shoulders tremble and I know she’s crying.
I soothe her and hold her, rubbing her back and kissing her over and over.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers and I tell her it’s all right. She has nothing to be sorry for. I do, though. I’m sorrier than she could ever imagine.