“Really?” She grins at me. “I’ve only met Bryce and Max a handful of times when they’ve visited Beth with Hudson. They seem like ahandful.”
“You could say that,” I say, not elaborating further. Daisy seems pleasant, but I’m not about to get into my relationship with Max and Bryce aswell.
“Well, I’ve pried too much already. I’m going to head back, Beth gets tired after her visits. Do you want to walk back with me? I can show you the café, you could grab a coffee while youwait.”
“I think I’ll stay here, if that’sokay?”
Daisy swipes a loose strand of her copper hair behind her ear. “Of course. I’ll let Hudson know where to findyou.”
“Thanks.” I watch her leave the orangery and head back over to where Hudson is still sitting with Beth. When he sees her, he gets up and Daisy points in my direction. They have a quick exchange of words before he returns to Beth and presses a kiss against her forehead. I watch as he cups her cheek and says something before walking in my direction. A minute later he is pushing open the door and entering the orangery. He spots meimmediately.
“Hey, baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t introduce you,” he says, striding over and sitting down beside me. His face is flushed, his green eyes bright. He lookshappy.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, a strange feeling welling inside my chest. It feels a little like jealousy. I know it’s wrong, and selfish. I push the jealousy down, feeling sick to my stomach at myreaction.
“It’s better than okay. Beth spoke to me. She actually talked,” he says, grabbing hold of my hand. “It was so good to hear her voice,Louisa.”
“What did she say?” I ask, pushing down the jealous voice that is trying to poison mythoughts.
“Not much, a few words. I mean, I did most of the talking, but she was there, you know. Present. Whenever I’ve visited before, she’s always been lost withinherself.”
“I’m happy for you Hudson…” I pull in a shuddering breath.Christ sake, get a hold ofyourself.
“What’s the matter?” Hudsonasks.
“Ignore me, I’m just feeling a little…”Jealous. Just sayit.
Hudson brings his fingers under my chin and tips my head to face him. “Talk to me,” hedemands.
“You’ll think I’m a bad person.Ithink I’m a badperson.”
“Louisa…” His voice has taken on a stern edge. He hates it when I hold my feelings inside, which is kind of ironic given he is ten times worse when it comes to sharing his own feelings. Although, of late we are both considerablybetter.
“When I saw the way you were with Beth, saw your compassion, it filled me with love and then, unexpectedly, with jealousy. You love her, and she loves you. Any fool can see that.” I chew on my lip, feeling horrible. Beth is in a wheelchair, she has suffered a huge amount of turmoil, and here I am, jealous of the place she holds in Hudson’sheart.
Hudson sighs. “I care about Beth deeply, I want what’s best for her, but I don’t love her, not in the way you think. Louisa, our relationship was only just beginning when this shit happened to her. Yes, I am filled with guilt, terrible guilt over what happened, but that isn’t why I comehere.”
“I’m sorry, Hudson. I’m a terribleperson.”
“No, you’re not, you’re human.” He squeezes my hand. “Beth will remain in my life forever. I won’t abandon her, and I care about her enough to want to remain a part of her life so long as she’ll have me in it, but we can never pick up what once was. I came to terms with that a long time ago and I think, finally, so has Beth. One day soon, when I think she’s strong enough, I’ll tell her about you. Daisy was right, today was toosoon.”
“Does Beth believe you’re still in arelationship?”
“No. She absolved me of any sense of duty a long time ago. We’re just friends, but I am mindful of her feelings. You understand, don’tyou?”
“Yes, of course I do. I’m so proud of you,Hudson.”
Hudson pulls me to my feet. “Come on, let’s go home. We’ve got a holiday to packfor.”