This Love (Cowboys & Angels 6)

“Damn, woman, you sure know how to cook,” I stated.

My mother shot me a smile that beamed with motherly love. When my father walked into the kitchen, his brow and shirt were covered in sweat. He took off his hat and hung it next to mine.

The back door shut again, and Steed and Trevor walked in.

“Just mind your own fucking business, Steed!” Trevor bit out.

“Watch that language in front of your mother and Maebh!” my father lashed out, glaring at Trevor.

“I’m just saying, you’re playing with fire and you need to knock it off.”

“What are you boys talking about?” Mom asked.

Trevor balled his fists and looked at Steed. “Don’t,” he warned.

Steed shook his head. “I never in my life thought I would say this about one of my own brothers, but I’m disappointed in you, Trevor.”

Both Maebh and Mom gasped as I stood up.

“Take this back outside, y’all,” I said. “Not in front of Mom.”

“Fuck you, Cord. I’m not like the rest of you. I don’t do…” he pointed to Maebh. “This shit.”

Trevor’s face was filled with anger, and I was positive mine matched his. I jumped toward Trevor when Maebh stood up and blocked me.

“Stop acting like eejits! What is the matter with all of you?” Trevor looked at me and then Maebh, instant regret on his face.

“I didn’t mean that, Maebh. I swear, I didn’t mean that.”

“I know you didn’t, Trevor.”

He grabbed his hat before storming past Steed and out the door. Maebh turned to face me. “Maybe you should go talk to him?”

I shook my head. “I’ll be right back.” Leaning down, I kissed her on the cheek before making my way out the back door. Trevor was walking away from the house slowly. I jogged down the steps and made my way over to him.

“Do you want to talk about why you lashed out at Maebh back there?”

He sighed. “It wasn’t at her. I’m…I’m in territory I’m not familiar with, Cord, and it’s confusing. Actually I’m scared and I don’t really know what to do.”

“Is this about someone?”

He nodded. “I like her, and I fucked up so bad. I keep doing things to hurt her, and I don’t know why.” His hand pushed over his buzzed brown hair. The pained look on his face wasn’t hard to recognize. “I’m so goddamned drawn to her. It’s like she’s got some sort of hold on me, and she won’t let go.”

We sat down on a bench on the other side of the yard. I imagined our mother used to sit here and watch the barn while Dad worked with the horses. The image warmed me. That was the life I wanted. A life with Maebh and babies running around. Land as far as I could see. That was my new dream.

“Do you want her to let go?” I finally asked.

He looked at me and shrugged. “Some days, yes. Some, no. I don’t know what I want. I look at you and see how much you’ve changed because of Maebh.”

“Is it that bad? That she’s changed me?”

“No,” he whispered, staring out over the rolling hills. “Dude, you’re the happiest I’ve ever seen you. I mean, I always knew when you found someone, you were going to land on your ass so fucking hard it would knock you into another place, and it totally has.”

Trevor looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness. “You were ready for Maebh. I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Trevor, I’m no expert when it comes to love, believe me. I feel something for Maebh I’ve never felt before and that scares me, and I know it scares her, too. I don’t think love was ever made to be easy. It’s something that tears at our hearts in both a good and bad way. It’s something we have to take a risk on while hoping and praying it doesn’t destroy us in the process. But it’s not something that is meant to come along and be easy. That much I do know.”

“Are you still scared?”

I swallowed hard. “Every day for one reason or the other. Will I hurt her? Will she hurt me? What if she’s taken away from me? I couldn’t live a day without her, and knowing that this soon into our relationship just adds to the fear. Because each time she smiles, I fall more in love. I look for ways to give more of myself to her. But she is a risk I’d take every damn time.”

Trevor’s head dropped, and he stared at the ground.

“I want to take the risk. I just don’t know if I can.”

A voice cleared from behind us. Glancing over my shoulder, I found that it was Maebh.

“Sorry, but we need to head to the airport.”

Trevor and I stood. I was shocked when he pulled me into his arms and slapped my back hard. His pained voice cracked when he spoke. “Thanks, dude. I appreciate you not tearing into me when I gave you a reason to.”