“What happened after he mentioned kids?”
With a hard swallow, I went on. “I asked him if he would ever want to leave Oak Springs, and of course he said no. Then, I told him I didn’t want to live in Oak Springs. It sort of all came out at once. He replied by saying he thought that was what I had wanted, too, and then he brought up how I never said anything about wanting to live in a big city.”
I looked at her. “I told him I wanted to live in a big downtown city. In like a loft or something, just for a bit. We could travel and see things.”
“What did he say?”
I cried harder.
Pulling me to her side, she rocked us back and forth. “Did he say something hurtful to you and that’s why you made up the relationship about the other boy?”
“No! Just the opposite. He said he would move anywhere I wanted because he loved me. For a few moments I was so over-the-moon happy. He was going to let me live out my dream and I’m ashamed to admit I was greedy enough to want him in my life and I was going to let him.”
“Oh, Harley.”
I reached up and wiped my nose. I hadn’t cried this much in years.
“Then what happened? I’m trying to figure this out in my head.”
Pulling away from her, I stood. Facing her, I took a deep breath.
“Steed broke his arm and we ended up going to the hospital. His momma needed him…that was my first clue that if I took him from his family, not only would Tripp resent me, but Melanie and John would too. I overheard him telling his father he didn’t really want to travel and had doubts about how we would make it.” Tears rolled down my cheeks faster. “But he said he would do it. For me. John told him if he didn’t talk to me about his feelings, he’d end up regretting his decision.”
I dropped back down next to my mother. “I loved him too much to have him give everything up only to have him hate me years later. I made up the other guy because I didn’t have the guts to tell him no. I so desperately wanted him to follow me around the world like a puppy dog, living out my dream while he left his behind, that I couldn’t tell him no. As a matter of fact, I didn’t want to tell him no. At least, not at first.”
My tears started again, and by the look on my mother’s face, I knew she already knew what had happened from that point on.
“So, instead of telling him that you wouldn’t let him give up his dreams, you made up another man.”
“At first I told him we should break up. Take some time apart. I didn’t know what else to say. I panicked and all the emotions running through my head and heart were confusing. Tripp wasn’t about to let that happen. That’s when I knew he would follow me, no matter what. Give up everything for my stupid, silly dream. So, I made up the guy I had met at school. And the hurt in his eyes made me want to throw up. But I couldn’t take it back. It was too late. And I knew, if I told him no, that I would come back to Oak Springs and we would start our life later, he wouldn’t have let me do it. He would have followed me, Mom. He would have left school, moved to College Station and then he would have resented me. I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I came up with the other guy theory.”
My mother stood. “Harley, you broke that boy’s heart! Why didn’t you just tell him you overheard his conversation with his father?”
Massaging my forehead, I groaned. “I don’t know! I panicked and did the only thing I could think at the time. Every single time I came home to visit I tried to track him down to talk to him. Each time I wanted to tell him the truth. That there was never another guy. That I was stupid for walking away from him that day and that I should have just let fate play its role.”
“He won’t talk to you still?”
I shook my head. “No. I’ve called his cell, left messages at work, asked his siblings to have him call me. Nothing. Then, when I came back this last time, and he was dating Mallory, I gave up.”
“A Carbajal does not give up.” She stood with her hands on her hips. “If you want him to at least know the truth, you force his ass to listen. He’s being a stubborn bastard, as well. You two are perfect for each other, both as hard-headed as they come.”