Fall (Seaside 4)

“No,” I croaked. “It happens sometimes.” I blew across the mug. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t.” She picked up her mug and lifted it to her lips pausing before taking a sip. “I fell asleep right away, and then, I don’t know, I guess my body wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. I woke up and heard you rummaging around in the kitchen.”

I winced. “Sorry. I tried to be quiet.”

“Jamie Jaymeson being quiet. You let me know when you discover you have that particular talent.”

With a laugh I clinked my mug to hers. “Cheers.”

Pris took a sip then jerked the cup back. “Ouch.”

“What?” I set my mug down and reached for hers, setting it next to mine.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “It’s not a big deal I think I just burnt my lip.”

“Let me see.” I stood in between her legs and braced either side of her face with my hands.

In hindsight… that was where I went wrong.

I knew I was struggling — I should have never touched her. I should have left her alone. I should have taken a step away instead of forward.

“Your lips look…” Incredible. Delicious. Plump. “Unharmed.” I inwardly groaned.

“Good.” Her answer was low, hypnotic, her tongue reached out and licked her lower lip.

And my body took the bait.

With a moan I crushed my mouth against hers and lifted her body against mine.

Her arms went around my neck as I devoured her lips — they tasted so sweet. Her body was hot, it slid against mine. My reaction was so violent I almost dropped her onto the floor.

Pris’s tongue pushed into my mouth. Damn, the girl was aggressive. I loved it. Smiling against her mouth I bit down on her lip and let her taste me, let her explore as my hands moved to her hips, setting her feet on the floor as I still held her body against mine.

Slowly, I slid my hands underneath her shirt, and lifted, the friction of my hands against her skin made me dizzy. Pris wasn’t just my obsession — she was my damn downfall. She made me feel weak, like I was drowning but I didn’t want to be saved. For the first time, I wanted to pull someone else down with me. And stay there.

Her breath hitched as my hands reached her bra.

She pulled back, slightly.

But it was enough for my brain to function on a logical level. I wanted to give her all of myself — but I had absolutely nothing to give her.

The math didn’t make sense.

I’d give her all I had — which was nothing.

And she’d give me everything.

“Pris,” I murmured against her mouth. “I’m sorry.” I stepped back, still gripping her wrists. “That shouldn’t have happened. It’s late and—”

“—what?” She jerked away from me, rubbing one wrist with her other hand.

“No, don’t be mad. Please.” Why did I feel like getting on my knees and begging? “I wouldn’t survive it if you said you hated me right now. I know it’s what I deserve. I know I’m an ass. I’m a whore. I’m all those things, but please, please don’t say this changes anything. I can’t…” Dammit. “I can’t lose you, Pris. You’re the only real friend I’ve had.” Other than the guys, but they were more like family, she had to know that.

“I’m not,” she said softly, touching her fingers to her swollen lips. I’d done that to her. I’d branded her with my mouth and I didn’t feel sorry. I refused to feel sorry.

“Friends.” I reached for her hand and gripped it. “Right? Besides, you like Smith. I’d just get in the way.” Lies, all lies. My body responded with a violent shudder. Her, it said, it begged, it screamed like a bloody gladiator. “Seaside… this is your home. This is your life.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m just a distraction.” I wanted to hit myself so hard. My heart — bloody thing that it was — slammed against my chest in madness as if it was so upset with what I was saying that it was getting ready to burst from my chest and find the words that I couldn’t.

No. I told my brain, I told my damn heart. No. It would be stealing — it would be wrong. Because I knew my priorities were still me. I knew they were still movies.

I had no room for her in my life.

And until I did…

Until I was fully ready…

She’d be the one to suffer for it.

“Say something…” I whispered.

Her eyes were cold, distant. “We’ll always be friends, Jaymeson.” With a sad smile, she shrugged. “Sometimes I just wonder if that’s what you really mean. You say friends, you act like—” She held out her hands, palms up… and shook her head helplessly.

I knew how I acted.

Like a man obsessed.

“I know.” I tilted her chin toward my face. “Will you accept my apology for not making the line clear?”

“What if I like blurry?”

“You say that now,” I said sadly. “But in the morning, you’ll wish it was still there. You’ll wish you’d seen it before you took the leap.”

With a slow nod, she got up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek, whispering, “You make it impossible to hate you, but right now, I really want to. I want to kick you. I want to slap you. I want to murder you.”

“Because I’m an ass?” The air stilled.