Lost Love (Cowboys & Angels 1)

I wanted more than anything for him to take me in his arms and hold me. Tell me everything was okay because he was back.

But he didn’t. He didn’t move as his gaze locked on mine.

I took in a shaky breath, barely getting the words out. “I did date Joe for a while, but we were far from being engaged.”

Knowing what I was about to say was going to cause Steed further hurt, I should have stopped. But I didn’t, because everything needed to be out in the open for both of us to move on. I just wasn’t sure if we would be moving on together…or apart.

“I never even slept with him.”

There was no doubt I could see the sick feeling move across Steed’s face. “W-what?”

“We dated off and on, it was never anything serious. I have no idea why his mother would say that to Melanie. I never even visited his parents while we dated.”

It was in that moment that everything came full circle. Every stupid thing we said to each other in anger. Every mistake we each made. Every single regret, out in the open.

Steed covered his face with his hands and cried out as he slid down to the floor. He repeated the same three words while his body shook violently. “I’m so sorry.”

My heart dropped to my stomach as I fell to the floor next to him. I’d never seen Steed cry like this. He pulled me into his arms and buried his face into me, his body shaking as he let all his emotions out.

“Paxton, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

Closing my eyes, I held onto Steed as he wrapped me tighter in his embrace.

I had been wrong all those years. The storm cloud hadn’t only been over me. It had been over Steed as well.

Steed and I had been sitting on my kitchen floor for the last thirty minutes, neither of us saying a word. I cried until I no longer had tears left, and I was pretty sure the same was true for him.

Leaning against the cabinets, I turned to look at him. His head was resting against the cabinet as he stared straight ahead. My chest tightened at the sight of this man sitting next to me. I still loved him.

Probably more after what happened here than ever, but I was still hurting and I had no idea when I would be able to open my heart again.

Steed finally spoke. “There was this quote I read one time that always stuck with me.”

“What was it?” I asked.

“Fear is temporary, regret is forever.”

He turned and caught my gaze. “I’m never going to let fear lead me down the road to regret ever again, Paxton.”

His eyes dropped to my mouth where I instinctively licked my lips. “I love you, Pax. I’ve never stopped loving you and I’ll love you until the day I take my last breath.”

Dragging in a shaky breath, I whispered, “Steed, I—”

He held up his hand. “Wait. Let me finish, please.” Reaching for my hands, he guided me up along with him. Standing face to face, he searched my face with such an intense look it caused me to shudder.

“I don’t know where life is going to lead us, but I know I won’t stop fighting for us, Paxton. If it takes me the rest of my life, I’ll earn your forgiveness and love back.”

My heart had never beat so fast or so hard in my entire life. I’d been fighting the urge to kiss him since he first walked into my classroom. I was tired of fighting.

One kiss.

That’s all I wanted. All I needed.

Who am I kidding? I needed this man.

Taking a step closer, I captured his beautiful blue eyes with mine. “You never lost my love, Steed.”

His hands reached up and cupped my face.

Just one kiss.

Slowly moving closer, his eyes drifted to my mouth once more. I silently begged him to kiss me as he grew closer and closer. When his lips finally brushed against mine, I let out a soft moan.

It was a slow and tender kiss and my body came to life. Reaching up on my toes, I deepened the kiss a little more. Steed groaned into my mouth before pulling back just enough to break the kiss. He rested his forehead on mine and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Closing my eyes, I replied, “Don’t say that. Not when I know we both wanted it.”

The doorbell rang, and we both jumped. I felt lightheaded and needed to grab onto the kitchen island to steady myself.

Steed’s eyes looked hungry with desire, but his expression was sad.

When the person rang the bell again, then knocked, I cleared my throat. “I better get that.”

He simply nodded while his fingers pushed through his hair. Shit, he is so damn hot when he does that.