I stared at her like she was insane. “Do you want me to answer that honestly?”
She slowly nodded. “Always.”
My tongue ran over my lips, and I was suddenly parched. I needed water. My head was spinning.
Did I tell her the truth? What I was really thinking? Hoping?
Fuck it. What could it hurt?
“I’m going crazy because all I want to do is bury my cock inside you and stay there all night.”
My mouth dropped open, and I had to fight to hold back the moan slipping from my lips. My panties instantly dampened.
Steed shrugged. “You told me to be honest, Pax. I’m being honest.”
I had to shake my head to get rid of the mental image of Steed making love to me. No. The image was of Steed fucking me. Hard and fast. I would be kidding myself if I said I didn’t want that more than ever. But could I open my heart up to him again? Not until it was healed, and I needed to do one more thing for that to happen.
Swallowing hard, I ran my tongue along my lips. Steed’s eyes turned dark with desire.
“I… I… Um, I need a moment I think.”
He stepped closer, and the air crackled between us. Gently lifting his hand, he placed it on the side of my face. “I’m sorry, pumpkin. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
I shook my head then placed my hand over his. With a soft smile, I pulled my lip between my teeth. Steed’s eyes dropped and focused on my mouth. The need to have him kiss me was overwhelming. My stomach twisted and turned, my clit ached with want, and my heart was pounding.
Closing my eyes, I knew what I had to do. My gaze lifted up to meet his. “I need to show you something.”
He nodded and dropped his hand.
Walking to the dresser, I opened the top drawer and searched for the velvet pouch. I picked it up and held it to my chest. Closing my eyes, I shut the drawer and held it out to Steed.
My heart was beating so loudly in my chest I was sure he could hear it. He glanced at the bag and smiled. “Is that the same bag I gave you the promise ring in?”
Tears pricked my eyes as the memory of Steed giving me the promise ring on my eighteenth birthday. He’d taken me to our favorite spot on the ranch where we had sat and watched countless sunsets. We’d talked about our dreams and our future. He had promised me no one would ever love me like he did. He had promised to love me forever.
“Y-yes.”
The smile on his face faded. I could hardly breathe. He stared at the bag. “I promised to love you forever that night.”
A tear slipped down my cheek.
When his eyes lifted and caught mine, he let out a pained sigh. His thumbs came up and wiped my tears away. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Paxton. I know that’s hard to believe, but I never once stopped loving you.”
A part of me knew it was true. He called his daughter the same pet name he called me. He sang her our song. I could see it in his eyes, the way he was looking at me this very moment.
My chin trembled as I dropped my gaze to the velvet bag. The ache I always felt when I looked at this bag hit me like a brick wall, but something about having Steed here made it hurt a little less.
“I…I need to show you this.” Lifting my head, our eyes locked. “I’ve tried moving on. I mean, I have moved on, but a part of me remains held back. Still lost in that storm.”
My words fell out between sobs. “I hated you for leaving me alone. I hated you for leaving me. You were my entire life, Steed, the reason I breathed, and you left me.”
His eyes filled with tears as he waited for me to keep talking.
Swallowing hard, I opened the bag. It still held a beautiful card and the velvet blue ring box, but now there were two other items.
I pulled out the box and card. Steed never took his eyes off of them as I set them on the end table next to my bed. Facing him, I dragged in a shaky breath. His eyes searched mine, desperate to figure out what I was going to take out.
Reaching in, I took out a piece of paper along with the little plastic bag that held the pregnancy test I took the day I found out I was pregnant.
Steed sucked in a breath and took a step back.
“My therapist kept telling me I needed to find to way to say good-bye. But I couldn’t say good-bye.” Tears streamed down my face.
“I needed you to be here with me. I needed…you…to be h-here.”