Lost Love (Cowboys & Angels 1)

“If Steed beats your time that’s five in a row!”

“Damn!” Trevor shouted as I nodded for Paxton to let the calf out. I took off, roped it, jumped off Lady and had the calf over and on the ground in the fastest time I’d ever run.

“Dude, that was six seconds!” Cord shouted. “You could be making millions!”

Paxton and Chloe jumped up and down, calling my name.

Mom walked over to Trevor. “Oh, honey. Remember he’s been doing it longer.”

“Mom! He was gone for ten years!”

Walking up to Trevor, I hit him on the back. “Dude, did you really think I wouldn’t find a place up in Oregon to ride? How in the hell did you think my daughter learned how to ride?”

Trevor stared at me with a blank expression. “I hate you, Steed. You suck!”

Cord and I both started laughing as Mom tried to play peacekeeper. “Now, Trevor. I didn’t raise you boys to be sore losers.”

Chloe pointed to Trevor. “Oh, Uncle Trevor said hate!”

“Sorry, Chloe,” Trevor said as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Turning to Cord, I said, “You should put a mechanical bull in the bar.”

His eyes lit up. “You know, that’s a damn good idea. Can you image the woman who would get on it drunk and—”

“Small ears, boys! We have small ears!” my mother called out as she pointed down to Chloe.

Cord winced. “Dang it. I forget sometimes.”

Paxton sighed. “I swear, you boys will never grow up. You ready for our ride?”

There was something in her eyes that told me she had something other than riding on her mind.

I nodded and walked over to Chloe. “Hey, pumpkin. Daddy and Paxton are going to go for a ride. You going to be a good girl for Grammy?”

Chloe grinned. “Yes. We’re going to make pumpkin bread! Your favorite, Daddy!” Her little arms wrapped around my neck, and she squeezed as hard as she could. When she leaned back, she did her best to whisper, “Are you going to ask Paxton to marry you?”

The sharp intake of air from Paxton had me cringing. I placed my hand on the side of Chloe’s cheek. “No, baby. We’re only dating. Remember? We talked about it.”

Her little eyes turned sad. Mom and I had talked about how attached Chloe was becoming to Paxton, and she was concerned how it would affect her in school with Paxton being her kindergarten teacher. Chloe, however, didn’t act any different at school according to Paxton, which was a relief…but she was becoming more and more obsessed with me asking Paxton to marry me. I knew Chloe longed for a mother. A real mother who showed her affection, and Paxton was stepping into that role nicely. Hell, I’d marry her tomorrow if I thought she would say yes, but I knew she was still dealing with her own issues, and I wasn’t about to push her into anything.

Paxton leaned down so she was eye to eye with Chloe.

“Chloe Cat, I love your Daddy so very much.”

Chloe smiled big and bright. My eyes lifted to see Mom staring at us. Her eyes threatening to spill over with tears.

“But, it’s been a long time since we’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend. We have to…get to know each other again.”

With her brows furrowed, Chloe asked, “But don’t you already know each other?”

Paxton and I chuckled. “We do, sweetheart, but Daddy did something that hurt Paxton’s feelings. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I made her really sad.”

Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. “Would you ever do that to me, Daddy?”

My heart ached in my chest. “God no, Chloe. I didn’t mean to do it to Paxton, but Daddy was not in a good place a long time ago. I promise you I’ll never hurt you or Paxton. Ever.”

Chloe leaned and asked, “Did you say you were sorry?”

I kissed the tip of her nose. “I did, pumpkin. And Paxton has accepted my apology. But we need to get back to how things were before I left. I know it’s hard for you to understand.”

Her next words nearly were nearly my undoing. My daughter would forever own my heart.

She nodded. “I trust you, Daddy.”

I panicked the moment Chloe asked if Steed was going to ask me to marry him. It took me a few seconds to find my breath. She’d asked me to pretend I was her mommy during the mother daughter spa retreat we went to that morning, and my heart broke when I had to explain to her that would be lying.

Steed was talking to Chloe in that oh-so-sweet voice he used with her. My mind swirled as I tried to process what he said and the sad look on her face.

When he admitted that he’d hurt me, I had to reach out and hold onto the fence. He was so honest with her and with me. I knew it had been hard for him to take it slow. The kissing led to touching, which led to him waiting for me to give him permission to take things further. For some reason, I was hesitant. Oh, believe me I wanted to have Steed do all the dirty things he had been whispering in my ear over the last few weeks, but a part of me was still scared. If I opened that part of our relationship up again, I was opening my heart to the risk of being destroyed.