Lost Love (Cowboys & Angels 1)

I knew in my heart Steed meant every single word he had said about leaving, not coming home, being torn up about our child. His promise to never hurt me again. My stupid head was the one arguing with my heart.

I closed my eyes. I was tired of listening to my head. It was time to follow my heart.

Focusing only on him, I whispered, “You. I want you, Steed. More than anything.”

His eyes lit up. “What are you saying?”

Pulling my lip in between my teeth, I inhaled a deep breath through my nose before letting it all out. “I want you, Steed.” My voice sounded shaky, but not from fear…from desire. “I need you.”

A slow, crooked smile appeared as he cupped my face with his hands. “Paxton, are you sure? Because I want you to be one hundred percent sure about this.”

My heart was beating like crazy. My body ached with anticipation. Steed acted as if he was going to take me here and now. What? Was he thinking he would fuck me up against the damn horse?

The wetness between my legs grew. Shit. I’d be okay with that.

“Paxton?”

My eyes swung up to meet his. With a nod, I replied, “I’m sure.”

His eyes closed and a look of relief washed over his face. I was positive it had been hard for him to keep his hands to himself these last few weeks. I loved him for doing it, though.

Steed’s mouth pressed against mine in a heated kiss. My hands quickly found their way under his T-shirt, my fingers moving across his skin, over that perfect body of his.

He dropped both hands from my face and slipped one under my shirt. My head was spinning with desire. A part of me wanted his hand in my pants, not under my shirt. When he pushed my bra up and started playing with my already hard nipple, I pulled my mouth from his and gasped for air.

I was on fire and the pulling and tugging of my nipple only fueled it.

My body trembled against the rock-solid horse who had yet to budge. Steed’s mouth was on my neck, kissing and licking. Building my body up and making me ache even more.

“Fucking hell, Pax. You drive me crazy.”

The only thing I could do was let out a soft moan when he pushed my bra all the way up and started sucking on one nipple while pinching the other.

Fuck, I forgot how amazing he was at getting me worked up.

“Are you wet, Pax?” he asked while his tongue licked and flicked my nipple.

I needed help standing up, so I grabbed onto his shoulders. “You should find out…for yourself,” I managed.

Steed’s head popped up and our eyes met. “Fuck,” he gulped.

With quick hands, he had my jeans undone and his hand down them. When his fingers brushed over my panties, I gasped. “Steed!”

He pushed my jeans down and dropped to his knees. My breath was coming faster now. If this horse moves, I’m going to fall straight back on my ass. Especially with my jeans around my ankles.

“Goddamn it, I want to taste you.”

Watching him pull my panties down was the hottest thing I think I’d ever seen. I could see the anticipation on his face. There was no way I could spread my legs enough, but somehow he managed to lick up my entire core and flick my clit.

“Jesus!” I cried out. He stood and cupped my face, his eyes staring into mine.

“How long has it been, Paxton?”

I swallowed hard. Not sure if my answer would kill the mood or not. “Ten years.”

His eyes widened in surprise. He slowly shook his head and pushed his finger inside of me. My sharp intake of air made him slow down.

“No. Don’t. Please don’t stop,” I begged.

When he buried his face into my neck, I wrapped my arms around him. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

I closed my eyes and let the feel of his finger moving take everything away.

“More,” I said in a needy voice. I didn’t care how it sounded. If I had the guts I would have told him to fuck me right here.

Steed slipped another finger in and hissed. “So fucking tight.”

Oh God, it felt so good. My mind started to wonder. What was his sex life like with Kim? Did he enjoy being with her? Was it meaningless sex or did they connect? I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know.

“How long has it been for you?” I asked with nothing but fear laced in my words. Steed stopped finger fucking me and drew his head back.

“A little over six years.”

My heart dropped. “What?”

“The night we conceived Chloe was the last time I had sex with Kim. It was our…our wedding night.”

His words both made me happy and hurt like hell. Knowing he had married another woman still hurt, no matter what the reasons were behind it all. But then, knowing he never had sex with her after that made my wounded heart feel a bit better. Their connection wasn’t real. Nothing about their relationship was real except for sweet Chloe.