I sighed and sat back in the chair. I needed to let this damn anger go.
“Wade, I’m a cop. I see people dealing with post-traumatic stress all the time. Hell, I’ve had to deal with it myself. It’s okay to talk to someone. Have you talked to Amelia at least?”
“No. She’s worried, though.” I pushed my hand through my hair and squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds.
“I hate that I’m worrying her, Mitchell. It’s just, every single time I close my eyes I relive it. I thought I was never going to see her again and the idea of leaving her heartbroken nearly broke me. It was the only thing that kept me fighting. I refused to let someone tell her I was dead.”
“You didn’t want to break her heart, but don’t you think you’re doing that now by not letting her in? Not letting her help you deal with what you went through?”
I nodded, knowing he was right. We sat for a few minutes in silence.
“I was so fucking scared. The water came out of nowhere and swept me off my feet. It wasn’t even that deep, but I couldn’t win against the force. Somehow I was able to stay out of the main river. Someone up above was watching out for me. I truly believe not getting swept into the middle saved my life.”
“I can’t imagine what it was like. And you kept a hold of that damn foal the entire time!”
With a chuckle, I replied, “Poor thing. How’s she doing? I haven’t seen her in a week.”
“Vet said she’s healing up nicely. I don’t know how you did it, dude, but you saved that horse’s life.”
“I know she belongs to the ranch, but I’d love to have her. We kind of have a…bond.”
Mitchell laughed. “I’ll say. The vet says when you stop by she perks up.”
“Yeah, well, she is a miracle, as well. She honestly should have died. How I was able to hold on to her in the water or have her lay next to me on that porch for so long, I’ll never know. I think we both saved the other one’s life, if I’m being honest. I had Amelia to live for but this little horse was depending on me just as much as I needed her.”
“Amelia’s been to see her almost every day. Vet said she actually sat in the stall with both the filly and the mom and wrote for a few hours.”
I smiled. “Sounds like her.”
“She loves you, Wade. Don’t shut her out.”
I knew Mitchell was right. “I know, man. I won’t.”
We sat for a few more minutes in silence until I turned to Mitchell. “What’s going on with you and Corina?”
His head snapped to me. “What?”
“You like her. She likes you. What in the hell is wrong with the two of you?”
Fear filled his eyes. “I do like her. A lot. Matter of fact, I can’t stop thinking about her. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her cheeks flush when…”
His voice trailed off, and we both let out a chuckle. “So, what’s holding you back? I mean, first it was Tripp, but they haven’t dated in months. Aren’t you worried she’ll get tired of waiting for you to get off your ass and ask her out?”
“Way to get right to it, Wade.”
I shrugged. “Hey, I’m just shooting straight like you’ve done with me. All I’m saying is if you wait too long, she’s going to move on.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face. “Christ, I know. I’m not sure if I’m the settling down kind of guy. I mean, I can’t tell you the last time I was actually with a girl. I’ve fooled around with some, but I’ve only slept with one other girl since that night last fall when I was with Corina.”
“Damn, you’re already practically settled down. You do know it’s mid-July, right?”
Laughing, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. The girl oozes innocence, and I’m not exactly squeaky clean when it comes to sleeping around. I’ve got a pretty dangerous job. How do I know if she wants to worry like that? She probably wants kids right away. That is something I’m not interested in right now.”
“At all? And have you asked her or are you just assuming she wants kids right away?” I asked in a surprised tone.
“I don’t know… I don’t see myself like Steed. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do anything for Chloe. I love that little girl, but one of my own? Hell, no. And, no, I haven’t asked her, but all chicks want kids.”
Mitchell looked away, and I knew he was struggling with what his head was saying and what his heart was feeling.
“Hey! Here y’all are. You’re missing the fun,” Amelia said. “More people just showed up so now we have enough to play the couples’ game Waylynn wanted to play.