Pull (Seaside 2)

I bit my lip and looked away, totally fighting the urge to clap my hands and shout from the window that I loved the most amazing guy in the world.

“We should go.” He winked and pulled out into traffic.

Then everything went black.

“Lyss? Are you okay?”

I shook my head. I hated it when I daydreamed like that.

Well, technically it wasn’t a daydream, it was a nightmare. But still.

I tried to smile even though my throat felt like it was closing up.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” My lower lip quivered.

A hot plate of food sat in front of me. Demetri was to my left. “You know what?” He pushed his food away. “I’m not that hungry yet, why don’t we take a walk on the beach?”

I nodded. I don’t know how he knew it, but I needed to get out of that house. I needed to breathe in more air. I needed to feel the salty wind against my face.

Demetri gripped my hand and pulled me through the house.

Our entire walk to the beach was silent.

Once we reached the water, Demetri spoke. “Want to talk about it?”

I shook my head.

“That bad?” He put his arm around me. I tucked my head into his shoulder and nodded. I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

“I wish I could do more than say I’m sorry, Lyss. But know that I am. I don’t know what just happened back there, but you looked like you saw a ghost. If I was smart like Dr. Murray, I’d say you need to bleed your feelings all over the place, but shit…” His arm tightened. “I’m not a doctor, and I know that it hurts like hell when you’re going through something that no one else understands.”

I snorted, typical response. “Really, Demetri?” I pulled away from him and stared hard. He had the world at his feet! He was beautiful, gorgeous — everything a girl could want. He had money, he had fame, he had it all. I didn’t, and he was going to sit here and tell me that he knew?

“You know nothing.” I bit off. “You’re just some spoiled rock star who can’t handle the pressure of life. You escape through alcohol and drugs and if what everyone says is true, you tried to kill yourself. Yeah, you’re right. You know exactly what it’s like to feel loss.”

Demetri took a step back, hurt etched across his face. “So that’s it? You’re going to put me in that category? Write me off like everyone else in town?”

I sighed. “Look, Demetri, I’m not trying to say your pain isn’t real, but it’s self-inflicted. All of it.”

Demetri’s eyes closed. He ran his hands through his hair and cursed. I hated hurting him, but maybe it was better this way. We were from different worlds. He didn’t know pain like I knew pain.

There was no way.

“Fine.” His voice was hollow. “Let’s just go eat.” He motioned for me to follow him back to the house and started walking in that direction, but I backed up and shook my head.

“Lyss?”

It would be too easy, so easy to walk into his arms and cry.

To let him kiss my tears away and promise to be the one solid thing in my life.

But I knew the ending to that tale.

The guy didn’t end up riding in on a white horse. No, he left the world in a dark hole — never to rescue the fair damsel again. I wouldn’t allow myself to get close enough to feel that kind of pain again. My heart was already in pieces, and if Demetri put them back together again, I would always be fearful of it shattering into a million jagged pieces.

“Lyss, come on. I promise we won’t even talk. Let’s just go eat.” His eyes pleaded with mine. I shook my head again.

“It’s better this way.” I bit my lip. “You’ll see.”

“Will I?” He shoved his hands in his pocket. “Think whatever you want of me, Lyss. But know, when I said I was your friend, I meant it. If you ever need me… for anything, you know where I am.”

I almost ran to him, but I told my feet to stay planted.

He walked a few steps then stopped and turned. “I won’t stop trying.”

“You should.”

He shrugged and offered a small smile. “What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment, and you’re the first real friend I’ve ever had.”

My heart was beating out of my chest. Why was he being so nice? And why, after hanging out one time, was he suddenly offering his shoulder for me to sob on? I didn’t need him — not now, not ever. Sharing hurt too bad, and I would rather die and join Brady in the cold hard ground than open up to someone who had the potential to hurt me as much as Demetri did.

He pressed his lips together and sighed. “Look. I can tell you I’ve changed. I can spout crazy nonsense about how I feel different about you than I have any other girl. Hell, I’ve given that speech more times than I’m proud of. But I’m being honest here. I don’t know what type of crap you’ve got going on, and maybe you’re right, maybe I won’t understand. But take it from someone who knows. That shit will destroy you.” He swallowed and looked at the crashing waves before nodding his head. “I’m not going to push you. I’m not going to beg. Just know that I’ve changed. I’m not the man I used to be, I never want to be that guy again. I like you. I want to kiss you. Hell, I want to watch you eat spaghetti.

Does that make me crazy? Probably. When you’re ready, if you ever are… you know where to find me. Night, Lyss.”