Tear (Seaside 1)

“Wow, Nat,” Evan said behind me. “That was actually quite accurate. I’m impressed.”

I nodded my head.

Demetri still wasn’t smiling. “What can I do?”

“Other than threatening everyone in school?” I lifted my eyebrows. “Let it blow over. They’ll have to give up after a while.”

Bob followed me to the table. The other security guy, whose name I discovered was Lloyd, stood near the drinking fountain.

My eyes scanned the room until they landed on Alec.

He was smiling.

What the heck? Wasn’t he still pissed about this morning?

The girl sitting next to him was touching his arm. Jealousy was not something I was familiar with, but ever since meeting Alec, I was filled with it. And then I felt guilty because in that same instant, Demetri sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me forcing me into a hug. “I’m so sorry for all this, Babe.”

I pulled away and gave him a tight smile. “It’s fine.”

My breathing was labored as I looked down at my food then peeked through my hair back at Alec. He was still smiling. The girl was still touching.

I willed him to look at me.

When our eyes met I continued to glare.

His smile disappeared. He whispered in the girl’s ear and walked off, leaving her pouting alone at the table.

A surge of guilt washed over me as I drank some water and watched him exit the cafeteria completely. “I, uh… I’ll be right back. Need to use the restroom.”

I pried myself from Demetri’s grasp and ran out into the hall.

My eyes darted from left to right. Where did he go?

And then a hand came from behind and covered my mouth, pulling me into the janitor’s closet.

“Don’t scream, it’s just me.” Alec’s warm breath was on my neck. He released me and gently turned me to face him. I had the strongest urge to jump into his arms and cry.

“What was that about, Nat?”

“What do you mean?” I played dumb.

“Don’t play dumb,” he said, as if reading my thoughts again.

Biting my lip, I sighed.

“Don’t do that anymore, please.” His voice was rough and low. Chills wracked my body.

“Do what?”

“Bite your lip, it’s distracting as hell.”

“Okay.” I almost did it again but licked my lips instead.

He laughed. “Yeah, like that’s better.” He pushed me a little so we had more space between us and sighed. “Now, are you going to tell me why you were trying to kill me with your mind in the cafeteria?”

Embarrassment washed over me, I looked down at my feet. “You were smiling.”

Silence.

“And,” I continued. “It wasn’t at me.”

Alec exhaled.

“I know it’s stupid. I know how ridiculous I sound, but you were so angry this morning in the car and you never smile at me at school, and now it’s even worse because you said you’re going to try to stay away from me, and I really don’t want you to. I want you to be… close.”

“You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

“A habit I’m trying to break,” I retorted.

“Nat…” His hands moved to my shoulders. I closed my eyes as the feeling of completeness washed over me. “We both know I can’t be close to you.”

“They’re just pictures,” I grumbled.

“It’s not about the pictures.”

My head snapped up. His eyes were hooded, his lips parted just slightly as his mouth hovered near mine.

Chapter Fifteen

My body screamed kiss me! But that would be wrong, and cheating, and it would prove exactly what the papers had written about me.

I told myself to step back but I was caught, hypnotized by his eyes, his mouth, everything about him.

“Nat…” He groaned. He looked so tortured.

I reached up and touched his face. Alec closed his eyes, muttering a curse under his breath.

“We can’t.”

“Can’t?” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Us, we can never happen, Nat.”

I jerked back. “Why?”

“I promised someone a long time ago that I would never get in the way again. He really likes you, Nat. Possibly loves you. I won’t do that to him. I can’t do that to him, regardless of how I feel about you.”

“How do you feel?” I felt my eyes search his face for any hint of information that would give him away.

“Guilty.” He growled as his mouth crushed mine. I closed my eyes as his lips worked against mine. Alec was so different. His kiss didn’t scare me — it terrified me. It made me feel things a high school girl had no right to feel.

Alec stumbled back, his breathing ragged. “Goodbye, Nat.”

Hurt, I watched him leave the janitor’s closet. He didn’t come back, even though I waited.

After ten minutes the lunch bell rang and I walked to my locker in a daze of confusion.

“Hey.” Demetri caught up to me. “You sick again?”

“No, sorry. I’m just tired,” I lied, hoping my face didn’t say “And I just kissed your brother, because I think I may love him.”

The problem was I loved Demetri too. In a totally different but very real way, and I felt so guilty that I had just done something so horrible to him.

“You need coffee.” He nodded his head as if he was the all-knowing and all powerful Oz and I the Tin Man who was just given a heart.