“Me too.” I offered her an encouraging smile; she needed to sleep. “Demetri just deals with things different than most people. It doesn’t mean he cares for you any less.”
“Why are you always defending him?” She gasped and then shifted a bit. “Forget I said that, please forget I said that.”
“Does it seem that way?” I asked carefully.
She nodded.
“Hmm, I guess it would. I don’t know, Nat, I’m just protective of him. I’m older by a year, it’s my job to be protective.” Oh and I kind of ruined his life so I feel like I need to make amends by actually being a good brother. Or just an all-around decent human being.
Her eyebrows scrunched together. “If you’re older by a year, and he’s a senior and you’re a senior.”
“Good math, Nat.” I kept a teasing tone even though I was a bit panicked.
“How are you in the same grade?”
“I live to lear.,” I nudged her and smiled again. Wow I was a really bad actor.
“High school is like going to hell every day, so why would you willingly choose to go?” Why wouldn’t she let it go?
“I never finished. We got busy touring and I kept putting it off. It’s as easy as that. Demetri actually likes learning. He likes studying, even though it doesn’t come easy to him. I’d rather do things. I can’t sit and listen to someone drone on for hours without wanting to jump out the window.” At least that was true.
Her eyes examined me for a minute before she said, “And here I thought you liked to sit and contemplate.”
“No, it just appears that way.” Because if I actually appear interested, or make a move, everything will be lost.
Nat covered up her yawn.
“You’re tired. Go to sleep, Nat.”
She shook her head.
“I brought a book.” I held it in the air. “I’ll be right here, okay?”
“Promise?”
I felt my control weakening as I took in her innocent form. “Promise.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Demetri
I DROVE OFF like a complete jackass and then slammed on the brakes. What was I doing? Did I seriously get in my car and leave my girlfriend behind? My sick girlfriend?
I hit the steering wheel; my hands shook as I gripped until my knuckles turned white. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know about my dad. The smell of hospitals freaked me out — stuffy noses made me immediately think the person was going to get pneumonia. I mean, when people are terminally ill, they can die from a cold.
Seeing Nat lying in that bed, her face pale. I died a bit inside, maybe it was because I wasn’t on the drugs but my damn feelings were physically hurting me. Swear, I never knew you could actually feel your heart clench. Mine did. I felt it squeeze and then I just… panicked.
I don’t know how long I sat in the car staring out the windshield, but eventually, I turned around and drove back to the house, but not before stopping off and grabbing a bouquet of flowers.
Alec was downstairs watching TV. He didn’t look up. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I ran my fingers through my hair, holding my keys in one hand and the flowers in the other. “It’s just — she’s sick.”
He sighed and put the TV on mute. “I know man. You wanna talk about it?”
No. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to forget that sickness existed; I wanted to forget that people died. I wanted to forget that when you get close to people it just hurts that much more when they leave.
“I’m good.” I flashed a smile. “Has she woken up at all?”
“Nah” — Alec licked his lips and picked the remote back up again — “Maybe it would be good for you to go check on her? Just so you know she’s okay?”
“Yeah.” I fidgeted with my keys. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”
I made my way slowly up the stairs and let myself in Alec’s room. Nat looked so peaceful, she had a small smile on her lips as her even breathing made my own pick up. She was fine. She was totally fine.
She was so defenseless so… pure. I walked up to the bed and took a seat. When she didn’t stir, I lay down and pulled her warm body into my arms.
“Nat?”
Her eyelids flickered open in confusion as if she wasn’t expecting me to be there. I couldn’t blame her. I’d let her down — again.
“These are for you.” I placed the flowers on the nightstand and gave her an encouraging smile — the type of smile that says ‘I’m not leaving your side.’
Nat’s eyes took in the flowers, her smile grew and then she mumbled a ‘thanks.’
I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry I bolted.” I sighed. “Being sick just freaks me out. Alec said he told you, but it’s not really an excuse to leave my girlfriend.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” I snapped. “Damn, why are you so easy on me?”
“Fine. It’s not okay. I hate you. Take your stupid flowers.” She reached for the flowers, threw them on the ground, and smirked.
I grinned and had to fight to keep myself from barking with laughter. “Much better. What am I going to do with you? Hmm?” I ran my hand down her neck, my fingertips grazing her soft skin. “You’re beautiful, funny… I can’t even look at another girl.”
“Well, I’m glad the man-whore has finally settled on one girl.” Her eyes narrowed.