I freeze up before I can stop myself. Dash clears his throat, and from the corner of my eye, I see him shaking his head at his friend. I purse my lips and do my best not to come off upset, though I don’t much like knowing he told the guys about our lunch and what we talked about. “Yeah, I am. As soon as I can.”
Arden grunts. “That sucks.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Where are you going?” Ranger asks.
“I’m not sure yet. Until now, there weren’t many possibilities. I guess I should thank you guys for that. Now, I have options.”
“It’s the least we can do,” Arden murmurs. One look at him reveals what seems to be a troubled expression, his eyebrows forming a single line when they bunch together over the bridge of his nose.
“We know what it’s like to not have options,” Dash explains.
“You mean you couldn’t always afford to spend all that money?” It’s not like I can come right out in public and be more specific. You mean you couldn’t always afford all the money you’re giving me for screwing all of you? Yeah, something tells me that’s not the kind of thing you randomly blurt out in the middle of a diner.
“Hell, no.” Ranger blurts out a laugh like the idea is hilarious. “Shit, all our food came from the dollar store when we were kids.”
“If I ate at all,” Dash adds. I remember what he told me about his home life, or at least what he hinted at.
“If anything, that’s part of the reason we all kind of gravitated to each other.” Arden rubs his jaw, looking thoughtful. “We’d get shit for being poor, but at least we didn’t have to take shit alone. And we didn’t have to pretend for each other.”
“I get it. And it’s really cool that you all found each other.” I’ll leave out the part where I know some of the kids I used to hang out with in high school would’ve been the ones to look down on them and maybe talk shit on them for being poor. I would never have done it myself, but I might not always have had the courage to speak up. I’ve spent so much of my life wanting to avoid making waves or starting a fight.
And I’m not proud of that. Not even a little bit. Because these are some pretty nice guys. They might have been a little rougher around the edges ten years ago, but I’m sure they couldn’t have changed all that much as people. It’s just that their situation changed—the way mine did, only in reverse.
And I really wish the thought of my parents didn’t come to mind just now because they’re kind of the last thing I need to be thinking about. I don’t need to ask myself what their opinion of what I’ve done lately would be. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
Before long, three burgers arrive at the table, along with a stack of pancakes for me. “I can eat breakfast food any time of day,” I explain as I place a pat of butter in the center before drowning the stack in syrup.
“Me, too,” Dash agrees. “Though for me, it’s usually cereal.”
“None of us are very good at cooking,” Ranger explains with a snort. “We decided it was better to do as little as possible.”
“Since somebody thought fried rice meant you have to pour uncooked rice into a pan full of oil.” Both Ranger and Dash look at Arden.
He shrugs. “It’s right there in the name. Fried. Rice.”
I have to put my silverware down because I can’t stop laughing. “Did you ever think of Googling a recipe?”
“Don’t come at me with your logic and reason.” I’m still laughing long after he takes a massive bite of his burger.
“Anyway,” Dash concludes, “we decided it would be safer for the apartment and the entire building if we rely on delivery and takeout for most meals.”
“But I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly,” Ranger insists. “If this asshole didn’t already use all the peanut butter on his fucking burgers.” He jerks a thumb toward Arden, who shakes his head.
“I’m just saying. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s amazing.”
This is nice. Better than nice. It’s warm, it’s comforting, and it almost feels like family. The three of them have the kind of closeness you can only have with people you’ve known most of your life. Like me with Thatcher. She would fit in perfectly with these three and could probably out curse and outdrink all of them.
I’ll never know for sure since there’s no way in hell I could ever tell her about this. Maybe one day, years and years from now. When we’re both old, and this is nothing but a memory.
“Do any of you have brothers and sisters?” I ask. It’s amazing I can even take time to speak since these pancakes are so damn good. I can’t stop shoveling them into my mouth.
All three shake their heads. “You?” Ranger asks.
I shake my head, too. “No, it was just me.”
“Aunts, uncles?”