Love Again (Cowboys & Angels 4)

We remained silent as Mitchell drove through the pastures and up to the giant live oak that still served as the foundation for our tree house. When we got out and looked up, we said the same thing.

“It’s so small.”

I made my way to the ladder and climbed. I could hardly stand up straight as I made my way to the middle of the tree house and sat down.

“Wow. Boy, does this bring back memories,” I said.

Mitchell followed my lead and sat down. “I know. Now it’s been passed down to the next generation.”

“Yep.”

I pulled my knees to my chest and stared at my younger brother. I was happy for him and Corina, but the ache in my chest was heavy. Their baby news made me jealous.

“Want to talk about it?”

Lifting my eyes to his, I asked, “Talk about what?”

He tilted his head. “I know you’re happy for us, but I saw something in your eyes on Thanksgiving when we announced the baby.”

“I am happy for y’all. It’s just hard to watch my younger siblings settle down and have kids. It’s something I dreamed for a long time, and I feel like Jack robbed me of it.”

Mitchell reached for my hand. “Waylynn, you do know you’re not an old lady and you have plenty of time to have kids.”

“At the rate I’m going, Mitch, I’ll be in my forties when I get settled and have kids.”

He laughed. “I don’t think so.”

I shrugged.

“No one has caught your eye?”

Looking away, I stared at a doll’s crib Steed must have brought up for Chloe. My heart physically hurt.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I’m not sure it can work between us.”

“Why not?”

Looking at him, I replied, “Because there are obstacles.”

His brows pulled together. “Like?”

I stretched my legs out and put my hands behind me on the floor as I laughed.

“Well, for one, he’s younger than me.”

“So? As long as you aren’t robbing the cradle, what’s a few years?”

“He’s also friends with one of my brothers.”

Mitchell laughed. “That could be a problem, but any guy you date is going to have to deal with your brothers, and this is Oak Springs. Everyone knows everyone!”

I giggled. “That’s true!”

He bumped my leg with his shoe. “Is it the guy you were with when old lady Hopkins walked in?”

Heat danced across my cheeks. “Maybe.”

Mitchell tilted his head and stared at me. “You see it going anywhere?”

“I think I want it to, but I’m not sure. I’m gun-shy after Jack.”

He left the conversation to dangle. “Corina being pregnant doesn’t make anything easier… This hit you harder than you’re admitting.”

My chest tightened. “I feel like it’s never going to happen for me, but I’m okay and I love that you’re concerned. I just need to get a few things in my life figured out is all.”

“Like where this thing is going with the younger dude?”

“That’s complicated.”

“Why is it complicated?”

I laughed and stood. “Trust me. It is. You ready to head back?”

“You don’t want to talk about it?”

I took his hand in mine. “This is something I need to figure out on my own. I’m still trying to deal with the rumors about why I divorced. The last thing I want is to add fuel to this town’s constant gossip fire.”

“I get it, sis. I do…but at some point you need to live for yourself and not for everyone else. Jack was a prime example of that, and look how that turned out.”

I knew he was being truthful. It hurt, but every word was exactly what I needed to hear.

Mitchell stood, and we headed back down the ladder.

The ride back to the barn was quiet. I was left to my own thoughts, my own decisions. It had been so long since I could make my own decisions about my love life, and here I was, on the precipice of running or jumping headfirst into a relationship. Mitchell’s words replayed in my head. Things with Jonathon were complicated, but was that only because I was making them that way?

We’d only been together the one time, but the endless flirtation and sexual tension promised that he wanted more. He had even admitted it. So, why did that scare me? Wasn’t that what I wanted in a man? The truth was, I was worried what people would think about me dating a man younger than me. And I couldn’t get that out of my head…

Reflecting on that, I realized I was allowing this town and its people to make my decisions for me. I’d simply replaced Jack with them…exchanging one prison warden for another.

By the time we got to the barn I had settled it out. I’d let things go naturally with Jonathon and me. That spark we felt together might be purely sexual and burn out before we could start an actual relationship. A few more times in bed with each other might give us both some fun and release, and then we could both move on.