“Which moment?” I ask him.
I can’t look at him, knowing what’s about to spill from my lips. The revelation that could change everything. If ever there was a time to confess what I’ve been hiding, it’s now, when there’s nothing left to hold us together.
“When your father let me go. He let me live, and it’s only because you called out.”
“It wasn’t me,” I blurt out, and the words are dead on my lips, completely at odds with the emotion in his. I have to clear my throat and repeat my words when he says nothing at all. “I never knocked at the door. It wasn’t me.”
“I heard your voice,” Carter starts to speak and even takes a half step closer to me, but I cut him off, and stare into his eyes as I confess.
“It wasn’t me. I never went to that side of the house.” My head shakes as my voice goes hoarse and I have to pause and swallow. My mother died on the floor directly above where my father worked. I never wanted to go back to that side of the house ever again after it happened. “I would have never told my father I needed him. I would have never interrupted his work.” My heart clenches with unbearable pain at the look in Carter’s eyes. “More than that, my father wouldn’t have stopped what he was doing for me,” I tell him a truth that causes the small part of me that still craves more love from my father to twist in pain. “It wasn’t me you heard.”
“You’re lying,” Carter speaks but there’s no conviction.
”You know I don’t need to lie to you.” With a deep breath in and then a desperate one out, I tell him, “I love you, but if you only want me here because you wanted the girl who saved your life,” bastard tears gather in my eyes but I refuse to let them fall as I swallow and continue, “if you only wanted some girl you’ve dreamed about…”
I can’t continue as Carter’s eyes narrow at me and his grip tightens on the desk behind him.
“I didn’t want to tell you because I thought if you knew, you wouldn’t want me anymore.” A single tear falls, and I ignore it. “If you only wanted me because of that night, because you thought it was me, then let me leave.” When I lick my dry lips, I taste the salt of more tears. Tears I refuse to acknowledge.
“It was never supposed to be me,” I whisper as I wipe under my burning eyes and gaze at the bookshelf behind him. His own gaze is unreadable and unforgiving; the mask has slipped back into place.
“I don’t believe you,” he says and Carter’s voice is low and threatening. With the cold air settling against my bare skin, I feel more exposed in this moment than I have in so long. “I know your voice. It was you.”
My heart flickers as Carter moves a half step closer, his gaze sizing me up like when I was first in the cell.
“I’m not lying, Carter. It was never supposed to be me.”
“I just don’t know why you’re lying.” Carter continues as if I haven’t exposed a truth that ruins everything he thought about me, every piece he both hated and loved before he even saw me.
“Stop calling me a liar.” A small flame ignites inside of me as he stalks closer, invading my space and towering over me. My voice is firm, bordering on hard.
I can feel my eyes narrowing on his as he approaches so close I can feel the heat from his skin. The flames lick between us as he smirks at me, letting his gaze roam up and down my body.
“What did you think telling me that would accomplish?” he questions me. It’s a fucking interrogation.
Rage burns in my blood. I have to quickly take in a deep breath to keep from snapping.
“I wanted to share something with you that would change things. Something that would sway the position you hold on how we’ve always been enemies and-”
He cuts me off and rebuts in a casual tone, “But our families have always been enemies.”
His gaze is ever assessing. I’m the enemy in this moment. I’m a liar in his eyes.
“You’re a fool to think I’d lie to you.” My response comes with more pain than I imagined it would.
The smile that graces his lips doesn’t hide his hurt. “Am I?”
“I’m not a liar.” My hands clench at my sides and the emotions that crept up before crash into me suddenly, like rough waves at the shore. “And this was a mistake.” I don’t know if I mean telling him he’s mistaken, not running when I could… or falling in love with him to begin with. Maybe all of it.