I ended up wearing a lot more makeup than I would have, and wearing a more-flashy outfit than I normally did, and they also packed me a nightie. Most of the time I just wore Lucah’s shirt or nothing at all when we slept, but he might enjoy that, so I took it with me.
They all wished me good sex and I wished I had time to ask Marisol about any Fin developments, but I didn’t. Fin had texted me a few times, but he was off in Europe again, so the messages were few and far between. Lucah asked me if I had heard from him, but I said not really and I could tell he was happy about that.
Lucah may not be one of those guys who would punch another guy for looking at me, but he was definitely glad Fin was in Europe.
~*~*~
Lucah attacked me as soon as I walked through the door. No hello. No greeting. Just shoved me up against the door, shoved his tongue in my mouth and a few minutes later his dick was shoved inside me as well. What a greeting.
“Hello. Is. Customary,” I panted as he pounded into me and I bit his shoulder to contain my screams. I didn’t want his neighbor knocking on the door again.
“Hello. Miss. Clarke,” he said as he stiffened and then came. I hadn’t, but I knew he would more than make up for it later. I slid down him as I unlocked my legs from around his waist.
He rested his head on top of mine and I could tell he was upset.
“What’s wrong? Not that I don’t enjoy ambush door sex as much as the next girl, but you seem down.” He stepped away from me without a word and went to the bathroom.
Uh oh. I’d never seen this side of him and I didn’t really know how to handle it. Somehow I didn’t think a blowjob and/or me making jokes was going to help. I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
“Lucah. Please talk to me.” The door opened and he let me in. I sat on the edge of the tub as he paced. There wasn’t a whole lot of room for pacing, but he was doing it anyway.
“It’s not just this thing with Ryder, Rory. There’s a whole bunch of things that . . . I didn’t mean . . . Why did it have to be you?” He stopped in front of me and then put his hands on both sides of my face.
“Why did you have to be you?”
“Is that a trick question?” I said as he stared at me so deep that I felt like he could see all of my secrets and there was one that I wasn’t ready for him to know yet.
“No, Sunshine. Forget it.” I didn’t want to. He was going through something and I wanted to help. I just wanted him to talk to me. And then it seemed as if whatever had him pacing a moment ago was pushed aside and he frowned.
“Why are you wearing so much makeup?”
Twenty-Two
We were avoiding. Don’t get me wrong, avoiding talking about commitment by having fabulous sex was fun, but sooner or later . . .
I loved him. Over the moon, past the stars, couldn’t breathe, smiled whenever I thought about him, couldn’t keep my hands off him, pictured a wedding and ginger babies and growing old and rocking chairs love. He drove me crazy, made me laugh and understood me in a way that few people did.
I fucking loved him and I wanted everyone to know it. Except Lucah, of course. He was the last person I wanted to know that I loved him. Second only to my dad.
So I told Sloane.
“I knew it. I told you so. How’s it feel?”
I answered truthfully.
“Awful.”
We both laughed.
“Yup, that’s love. Ah, I’d forgotten how much it sucks. You have my sympathies.” I was going to need them. “Are you going to tell him?”
“I’ll have to, at some point. He’s not a moron, he’s going to figure it out. So I love him and I can’t say the words out loud and he’s still hiding things from me and not sharing them with me and it pisses me off because I love him and want to have his ginger babies.”
Sloane gave me a sympathetic face and a hug and offered to make more breakup cake, but I didn’t think that would help. She made the cake anyway, and I was not going to turn down free cake.
There was a knock at the door as I stuffed myself with chocolate, and Sloane went up to get it.
“Emergency girls’ night!” Marisol announced, holding up two bottles of wine. Chloe came behind her with a bag full of movies and the game Cards Against Humanity.