Surrendering Series Box Set

“I know. I’m sorry that I’m dumping this on you at all. I didn’t mean to, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to. Tate has pretty much cut ties with him so Ryder burned that bridge already. I don’t blame him, because he has the girls to think about, but it’s just hard sometimes.”

“I know, I know. We can talk about something else if you want.” He sat up and his eyes were red, but dry. “Tell me about your parents,” I asked tentatively. I expected him to shut me down, but he didn’t.

“We were poor. I mean, not that we didn’t have enough food, but there were times when we ate cereal dry for dinner because that was all we had in the house. My dad was a good man, but he had the worst employment luck ever. He’d get a good job and then the company would go bankrupt, or it would burn down, or he’d get laid off when the jobs went overseas. It happened so often that Mom kept an emergency fund for when he was out of work. She had health problems, so she couldn’t really keep down a job. We lost our house a more than once and had to live in a one-bedroom apartment for a few months one summer. But Dad made it like we were having an adventure, so he strung a tarp up in the living room and we got to pretend we were camping.” He smiled at the memory and I was shocked. I had no idea that Lucah had grown up like that.

It made me think about my own upbringing and how lucky I’d been. Not that I ever forgot, but when you heard someone else’s story, it really made you think about your own life.

“The only way out was school, so I did the best I could so I could find a way out. I remember seeing a man in a suit, and he drove a beautiful car and looked like he had the world at his feet, so I made the goal to be a man in a suit. And here I am.”

He smiled and his mood did seem a bit lighter.

“I dressed as my dad for Halloween when I was three. I insisted on using his briefcase, even though it was almost as big as I was and I had to drag it on the ground behind me. It was a really expensive briefcase and when I came home with it full of candy, and all dirty, he just laughed and said it was mine now. I didn’t really have any concept of what he did, but I knew that was what I wanted when I grew up.” When other little girls had been obsessed with their astronaut and princess Barbies, Dad had gotten me one that was probably supposed to be a secretary. Instead, he told me she was CEO Barbie and he somehow found a doll-sized desk for her, and I made her hold meetings with all my other dolls and stuffed animals.

Yes, I was an only child and didn’t have a lot of friends.

We talked more about our childhoods, and even though they’d been so different, there were so many things we had in common. Childhood was pretty similar no matter how you grew up, I guessed.

I was hungry and ready to order food, and Lucah seemed better.

“Thank you, Sunshine. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Same here.” We smiled like idiots at each other and I realized something else. Yes, I loved him, but not just in a romantic way. He’d become one of my best friends. Even if we never had sex again, I would miss his presence in my life if he were gone. I couldn’t get rid of him now, even if I wanted to.

“You’re my favorite,” I said as he pulled me to my feet and then into his arms.

“You’re my favoritest of favorite things,” he said.

~*~*~

We didn’t talk any more about his brother that night, but I wanted to make it a regular thing for us to talk more about growing up and our pasts. I still felt like there was so much I didn’t know.

“I’m not good at opening up,” he admitted, at last, the next morning as we showered together. If we didn’t hurry, we were both going to be late.

“Why Lucah, whatever do you mean?” I said, rinsing the shampoo from his hair so it didn’t get in his eyes. My shower was enormous, which was one of the reasons I’d fallen in love with this apartment. There was nothing worse than trying to be sexy with a guy in a shower that was too small.

“Yes, I deserve that.” I squirted some conditioner and ran it through the ends of his hair and he did the same with mine. I’d taught him well by now.

“It’s self preservation, most of the time. And fear. Fear that if I open up to people they won’t like what they see.”

“You’re silly,” I said, making his hair into a mohawk. “Why wouldn’t someone like you?” I was sure there were people, but they weren’t anybody I would want to be friends with anyway.

“There are a lot of people that are not fond of me, Sunshine. It’s a longer list than you could imagine.”

“Okay, now I’m intrigued,” I said as he tipped his head back to rinse the conditioner out and then we switched places so I could do the same.

He laughed but didn’t elaborate.

“Hey, don’t leave me hanging like that,” I said, but he just shook his head and started massaging my back as the hot water pounded down on me. That felt amazing, and even though I knew he was using it as a way not to continue our conversation, I was going to let him. I could ambush him later when he least expected it.

~*~*~

We ended up both getting to work on time, but as soon as Lucah sat down on his desk, he pulled his phone out and looked at it, frowning. He quickly typed something and then waited for a response. I figured it was something about his brother so I tried not to eavesdrop by staring at him and turned my computer on while I started to figure out what I had to get done immediately.

My phone rang and I answered it without looking to see who it was. Before I could say hello, I hear Lucah’s voice.

“Listen, there are some things I need to take care of today, so I need to leave. I’m so, so sorry, but this has to get done.” I looked across the room and he really did look sorry. It absolutely totally and completely sucked and I wasn’t thrilled, but I also wasn’t a total bitch.

“Are you sure you can’t tell me what this is regarding?”