I kept wondering the rest of the visit, even when the girls covered me with glitter again, and yanked out half my hair with a brush, and stole my shoes and tried to walk around in them again.
“You should come out to the city. We could take the girls to the museum. Or we could watch them and you could have some time alone.”
“Alone time? What is this alone time you speak of?” April said. Tate laughed and kissed the top of her head.
“It was what we had before children, baby. Remember? Sleeping late? Staying out late? Sex without being interrupted?” He whispered the last part so the kids didn’t hear.
“I vaguely remember something about that, but it’s been so long I think I might have imagined it. But I think I’d like to try and see if we could have it again. Sure. How about next weekend?” So we made plans to take the girls to the museum while April and Tate went to lunch and did some shopping and maybe snuck into a hotel for the afternoon. I heard Lucah suggesting that to Tate, and recommending the hotel we’d been at.
I just pretended I didn’t hear as we hugged everyone goodbye. I almost forgot my shoes because Gracie was still wearing them.
Eleven
“So do you want kids?” I said on the way back. We’d never really discussed this part of our relationship. I didn’t know if it was because I was afraid of it, or he was. Either way, neither of us had ever brought it up.
“I do. Why?”
“Just asking. We’ve never talked about it, and I see how you are with the girls so I was just wondering.”
“Do you?”
“Of course. Eventually.”
“What do you mean?” He downshifted as we drove through another neighborhood.
“Oh, I always planned on having them later. You know, when my career was established.” Then I could have more time with them and I wouldn’t resent them for taking time away from me building my career. I’d also have more money to afford them.
“How much later?”
“Like, at least thirty or later.”
“Huh. That surprises me. I would have thought you’d say in the next couple of years.” He glanced over at me.
“Well, when I decided I didn’t want to have kids until I was thirty, I was also single and there was no Lucah Blythe in my life. So.”
“Soooo. That number could change?” Why did he want to know?
“Are you saying you want kids right now? Jesus Christ, we just moved in together.” That was WAY too fast for me. And I think my parents would like it if I was married before I had kids anyway. They hadn’t said boo about me moving in with Lucah before marrying him, but I knew my mother wasn’t thrilled about it. But I had a man and she was happy about that, so it was a trade-off. Plus, she adored Lucah now. He’d replaced Fin in her affections, at least for the time being.
“No, no. Not tomorrow. But I think you’d make an amazing mother.” He took my hand and kissed the back of it.
“You know my parents would probably want me to be married so I don’t have a child out of wedlock.”
“‘Child out of wedlock’? Who even says that anymore?”
“People in my parents’ generation. It was to be a cardinal sin.” My mom used to tell me stories about girls who got pregnant in her high school that were sent off to relatives to live for nine months and they’d come back with a few extra pounds and a new baby “brother” or “sister.”
“Well, I’m glad it’s not that way anymore. People were way too uptight.”
“Amen.” I waited for him to say something else about the marriage thing, but he didn’t. Part of me wanted to bring it up again, but part of me wondered if he’d avoided it on purpose. That was the other thing we’d never talked about, but which I knew, without her even having to mention it, that my mother was thinking about. It was the next logical step.
But Lucah and I had never talked about it.
“So where do you want to eat?” I was suddenly so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.
“Do you mind just having something at home? I’m too tired to stop.” I closed my eyes and leaned the seat back so I could lie down.
“Sure, whatever you want.” I closed my eyes and we were silent for the rest of the way home. I didn’t fall asleep, but I pretended to be.