“Okay then,” she said and picked up her burger as if nothing had happened.
We didn’t talk about Ryder for the rest of the meal, or while we shared a piece of raspberry swirl cheesecake, or as we window shopped and Sloane convinced me (it didn’t take very much) to buy a new pair of heels that looked like black and white wingtips. Our unspoken agreement put Ryder on the “do not discuss” shelf, and there he would stay until we could agree on him, which I didn’t hold out much hope for unless he got himself clean and together.
The rest of our afternoon was Ryderless, but he still left an impression that I couldn’t get rid of. Sloane hugged me and went to her apartment and I crossed the short distance to mine.
“How was it? I see you couldn’t resist more shoes,” Lucah said with a smile as I walked in the door.
“You know I can’t resist shoes.” I’d debated with myself about whether or not to tell him about Ryder, but my mouth made the decision for me when it blurted out that I’d seen and talked to him.
“You saw him? How did he look? He hasn’t returned any of my calls this week.” I set my bags down and we both sat on the couch.
“He looked bad, Lucah. He was definitely on something. Sloane and I had a bit of a fight about it. She’s not going to stay away from him for much longer. And she also called me out for being self-righteous, which was true, but I was only doing it because I care about her.” Lucah made a sound of frustration and dragged his hands through his hair.
“This is a fucking disaster. I wish he’d never come here.” But he shook his head. “No, no. That was a terrible thing to say. I guess I just wish that I knew what to do to help him. What would work.”
He’d gone through everything. Offering to pay for rehab, getting him a job, leaving pamphlets on Narcotics Anonymous wherever Ryder was staying, yelling, cajoling, begging. Nothing worked.
“He’s got to want to change, and until then, he’s going to keep wanting to be destructive.” What Ryder didn’t seem to grasp was that he wasn’t just destroying his life, he was hurting Lucah and Tate as well. And when he hurt Lucah, he hurt me. The ripples of his behavior hit more people than he could understand. Just like those people who stole the money from Clarke Enterprises.
I leaned on Lucah and he put his arms around me.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I wished I could do something. Being helpless had to be the worst feeling in the universe.
“I will.” He held me for a while and we just sat in silence. I glanced down at the clock on the entertainment center. Shit.
“We’re going to be late for my parents’,” I said, but didn’t move. Lucah did, patting my knee to spur me into action.
“We can’t be late, Rory.” He made me get up while he rushed to get dressed in one of his suits since he’d just been wearing a tank and jeans. I slowly went to join him in the frenzy to get ready. My hair was all messed up from the massage, but I didn’t really care. I just pulled it back in a bun and called it good.
I also decided to wear my new shoes, and matched the rest of my outfit with them, going with a black dress and some pearls. Mom loved pearls, because they were so classic. They always made me think of her, and Audrey Hepburn. Lucah was frantic, trying to get his tie done.
“Why didn’t I realize how late it was?” I motioned for him to stop moving so my steadier hands could fix his tie as he zipped his fly, and I tried fixing his hair.
“What did you do all day?” The apartment was definitely cleaner when I’d come back.
“Cleaned, laundry, changed the sheets, dishes, uh, I went out and got some groceries and I went for a run.” He made me feel completely inadequate, and lucky to have him in my life. If he was trying to make up for something, or butter me up before telling me he did something stupid, that was definitely the way to do it right.
“What did you do? Because obviously if you did all those things, it means you screwed up and are trying to soften the blow,” I said as I straightened his tie and made sure everything else was in place.
I looked up at him and waited.
“We don’t have time for this.”
“Then tell me what it is.” I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.
He shook his head, because he knew there was no way I was going to let it go.
“I may or may not have been cleaning and trying to get your shoes in order and I may have dropped one and then tripped on it, and broke the heel off.” He winced as if he was waiting for me to smack him.
“Where is it?” Looking like a dog that had peed on the carpet, he went and got the shoe and brought it to me. Honestly, I’d done much worse damage after a night of drunken dancing at the bar. All it would take was a little glue.
“You know I can glue this back on, right?”
“Wait, you can? I didn’t know you could do that.” He took the shoe from me and examined it. “Will it stay? What if you’re walking and it gives out? You could break your ankle.” His concern was both adorable, and making us late, so I hurried us out of the door and into a cab to take us to the garage to get his car (which was barely a ten minute walk), explaining that I had broken more than one heel in my time and that I’d never had a repaired one give out on me yet.
He started going on about seeing a cobbler and I asked him if those still existed and he said he’d seen one somewhere in Boston and then we got talking about all the things that had gone out of style. Like video stores and boom boxes.
We did end up being late, but it didn’t really matter. It was just family dinner. Lucah was still stressing out about impressing my parents. I just smoothed his hair and told him to relax, but it didn’t do much good until the door opened and he morphed into his charming self, like Clark Kent into Superman. No phone booth required.