Surrendering Series Box Set

“What punishment?”

“Me wanting something that I can’t have.” I knew what she was talking about, but I asked the question anyway.

“Wanting what?”

She looked at me as if I was being dense.

“Ryder. Wanting Ryder.”

I knew she did. It was all over her face and in her voice and her laugh and every movement when she was around him. She might as well be wearing a sign on her forehead.

“And what makes you think you’re being punished for wanting him?”

“Because there’s no way it could work. We’re such . . . . different people. We have literally nothing in common.”

“So what do you talk about?”

She shrugged.

“Stupid things. And it’s not just that. He definitely isn’t ready for a relationship. I don’t think he’d even know how to have one. And he’s only twenty-two.”

“Sweetie, you’re only twenty-five.”

Not that I wanted to join Team Ryder, but those things all sounded like excuses. I’d been completely against the relationship at first, because I thought it would be a fling that would end up hurting Sloane in the end. But now . . . My views on Ryder were changing.

“Well, just wait and see. You never know what could happen.”

“Yeah. Wait and see. That sounds much less dangerous than going jogging again.”

“Definitely.”

~*~*~

“How’s she doing?” Lucah said when I came back after getting Sloane ready for bed and handing her some ibuprofen with a sleep aid. Hopefully she’d be a lot better in the morning.

“I think her pride is wounded more than anything else.” I looked around for Ryder and then heard the toilet flush.

“She really likes him, doesn’t she?” Lucah said, as if the thought had just occurred to him.

“Yeah, she really does,” I said quietly as Ryder emerged from the bathroom.

“Is she going to live?” he asked, throwing out the words as if he didn’t really care either way. I knew he was full of shit.

“I think so.” That was all he was getting. I wasn’t going to intervene or try to turn this either way. I was waiting and seeing. Staying neutral. Stepping back. Lucah and I had meddled too much already and look at where it got us.

“But we’ll just have to wait and see,” I said, taking Lucah’s hand and leading him toward the bedroom. “Goodnight.”

~*~*~

Waiting and seeing was awful. Especially since I was a known control freak. I poured my heart out to Lilia during another lunch on Monday. I was starting to rely on her as my own personal therapist, but she claimed she didn’t mind.

“It’s my job. I’m your assistant, and I need to meet your needs, whatever those are. Right now they happen to be acting as your de facto therapist. I’m okay with that. Especially if there is cake or pie involved.”

She did get a free meal out of it, so that was her fee for services rendered.

“I get what you’re saying about having a hard time staying out of it. It’s like, if you could only get in there and put everything in place, where you wanted it, then everything would be perfect. But life isn’t like that.”

“I know. That’s what makes it so hard.”