Because I was in love with him. Maybe more than I’d ever been before. So much that when I let myself think about it, I couldn’t breathe.
“I’m not in love with him,” I said again. I wasn’t convincing anyone, least of all myself.
Rory shook her head at me. “You know, every time you say that, a kitten dies. So you should really stop saying it. Also, because it’s not true.” I really wanted to beat her senseless with a pillow. Or sew her mouth shut at least.
“I’m not going to stop saying it.” If I said it enough, I might believe it. Probably not, but I was stubborn.
“Then you’re going to be responsible for a lot of dead kittens. That’s like kittencide. I hope you can live with the choice you’ve made,” she said with a serious expression.
“I’m good,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood for joking around.
“Then it’s on your head.” She got up and started poking around in my fridge.
“What are you doing?” I craned my neck to try and see what she was up to.
“I think we need something.”
“Food? Dude, we just ate.” I definitely wasn’t hungry. She slammed the fridge and opened the freezer.
“Aha!” She dug in the back and pulled out some ice cream I’d forgotten was even in there because it was hidden behind some frozen vegetables. She set that down on the counter and then got some chips, a bag of popcorn, and a few sodas.
“What is this for?” I asked as she dumped the lot in my lap.
“For reasons.” She sat back down with me and handed me a spoon.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, and pulled the lid off the ice cream carton. Rory turned the TV on and magically found a rerun of Project Runway. It was basically my favorite show ever. I’d even considered trying out if I didn’t already have my studio and several investors. Sometimes when I was half-asleep I imagined myself in the work room with Tim Gunn telling me my garment was fabulous. Hey, it could happen.
Rory and I ate the snacks even though we’d just had dinner. But I hadn’t had dessert, so this counted.
“Are you going to tell Lucah about the kiss?” She gave me a look as if I’d just announced I was giving up fashion design and was taking up full-time twerking.
“Probably not. Although, I’d kind of like to see the look on his face if I did. He’s developed this twitch in his eye when he’s stressed and I don’t really want to push him anymore. What is it with the men in my life pushing themselves to the brink?”
“They say girls go after men that are like their fathers. If that’s true then I should be heading to the local tractor pull or monster truck rally.” True story. My parents had met at a monster truck rally. Talk about a romantic venue.
“I don’t think that’s true,” she said, and then she thought about it. “Maybe . . .”
“No! Definitely not. There is no way I’m marrying someone like my dad.” I was trying to keep Ryder out of the marriage discussion.
“Then who are you going to marry? Have you ever thought that if you married Ryder then we’d be sisters for real?” That hadn’t occurred to me at all. On paper, it sounded perfect.
“No, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“But can you imagine how awesome it would be?” She beamed at me as if she was already planning it. Holidays together. Both of us with the last name Blythe.
Definitely not. I wasn’t changing my name for anyone.
“Hey, are you going to change your name when you get married?” I was more than happy to talk about Rory’s wedding. I could talk about that all day, every day.
“Nope. Lucah and I decided that I’ll hyphenate. Clarke-Blythe. It shouldn’t be too hard since they’re both short.” Rory Clarke-Blythe. It had a really nice ring to it.
“It’s going to be weird though. I mean, I’ve been Rory Clarke my whole life, and then I’m just going to be this whole other person. I’m going to be someone’s wife. Scares the shit out of me when I think about it too hard.”
I could imagine.
“Yeah, it is weird. And totally sexist when you think about it. That the woman has to change her name. Like she’s her husband’s property as soon as they say their vows.”
Rory made a face. “Gross. That’s probably why I don’t want to do a lot of the traditional marriage things. And there will be no unity sand or candles, or any of that nonsense. Honestly, I would elope if it wouldn’t kill my mother.”