This was what I thought kissing Ryder would be like, but of course, this was so much better than anything I could have imagined.
I couldn’t breathe, but it was low on my list of priorities. He pulled me up so I was on my tiptoes, a feat I never thought I would get to experience, being so tall.
My heart beat wildly in my chest, and I could barely stand it. Ryder pulled away from the kiss and I nearly gasped as if I’d been under water and had just burst through the surface.
“You’re trembling,” he said, holding me tight.
“I am?”
“Yeah.” I wanted him to keep kissing me, but he didn’t. Instead he held me and gazed into my eyes like he was memorizing me.
“I’m taking this with me,” he said. “This right here.”
“Go ahead,” I said. “Take all you want.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know,” he said. “Although if we did that, I might not want to go.”
True.
“Well, we can’t have that. You need to go and become a mountain man. I’ll be fantasizing about you the whole time.” That made him full-on laugh.
“Good. Though the reality probably won’t be the stuff of fantasies.”
“That’s why they’re called fantasies. Because they’re better than reality.”
“What happens when the reality exceeds the fantasy?” he asked.
I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he took a step backwards. I didn’t reply to his question because I didn’t have an answer.
“I should go,” he said, and I could feel him withdrawing again from me. That was fine. Probably good, seeing as how he was going to be gone soon.
“Until tomorrow,” he said.
“Until tomorrow,” I echoed.
Twenty-Four
The next few days were a blur. Things started moving fast on the plans for the fashion show. I got through the dreaded model casting without even yelling at anyone, which was a record for me. Inari brought me a cake as a reward from one of the only bakeries that could make one better than I did.
“I don’t know how you can eat all those sweets and stay so thin,” she said as I devoured my second slice.
“Me neither. God blessed me with a fast metabolism, but then gave me a shitty family to even things out.” I wasn’t sure if I would have rather had it the other way around.
She just shook her head at me.
Work was great, but when I got home, all I could think about was Ryder and how little time we had left before he headed off to the mountains. He came over and hung out with me after dinner and we went to lunch a few times as well.
He didn’t kiss me again, and I tried not to be disappointed. Of course, I thought about kissing him, but then I pussied out, every time. I didn’t want to make things weird for him.
The prospect of getting letters from him made the fact that he was going to be gone for a month suck a lot less. Plus, it was only a month—I could get through a month without him. And then he’d come back and things would be better, and then maybe . . . maybe.
“To Ryder’s last night in civilization,” I said, raising my glass. We’d decided to go out for Ryder’s “last meal.” Lucah was totally on board with him going since he’d showed such initiative and desire to do this.
“Hear, hear!” we all said, toasting to his good health and not getting frostbite.
“So, what are you going to miss the most?” Rory asked.