“I know. I guess I’m just used to it.” His brother was also exhausting, which made them a good pair.
“Ready for bed?” I nodded and he picked me up again. Lucah had an affinity for carrying me and I couldn’t seem to have a problem with it.
He tucked me in and then climbed under the covers with me. I snuggled against him. Normally I’d be asking him if he wanted to have “coffee” (aka, a blow job), but I was too tired tonight and I suspected he was too. We’d barely spent a few hours with children and we were worn out. This was why I wanted to wait to have our own. I wanted to be older. Wiser. More prepared. Definitely richer. I wanted to have my shit together before bringing offspring into the world.
Five
We were late for dinner with my parents the next day. I’d gotten caught up doing laundry and Lucah had been jamming on his guitar. Sloane and Ryder were also running late due to construction-related traffic, so we were all flustered when we walked into my parents’ house.
“I was wondering where you were,” my mother said, sweeping out of the kitchen as if she’d just come from a photo shoot with Better Homes and Gardens. I was used to her looking absolutely perfect all the time, but it gave me a lot to live up to. You know those women who seem to excel at everything and look fabulous doing it? Hello, Eva Clarke.
“Sorry, Mom,” I said as she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
“Busy with wedding plans?” she asked in a hopeful voice. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn’t want to provoke her when we’d just walked through the door. I should wait until we’d eaten the first course at least.
Tonight Dad was cooking, so I went to the kitchen to see what was what while Sloane and my mom talked (for the billionth time) about her mother-of-the-bride dress and Lucah tried to boss Ryder around.
“What’s up?” I asked. I saw my dad nearly every day at work, but I still loved being home again on Sundays. It was comforting to know that I’d always have this.
“Not a whole lot,” he said, assembling the salad plates. I knew better than to interfere. “What’s new with you?”
I leaned on the counter and sighed.
“Nothing. I don’t know. Just stressed with the wedding and everything.” That was a good excuse. I wasn’t going to mention anything about babies because my mother would take it and run with it and I could not deal with that tonight. Or any night, really.
The wedding planning had been difficult at the start because Lucah was adamant about certain aspects. He wanted to get married in a church for some odd reason, in spite of the fact that neither of us went to church. I just didn’t feel right getting married in a church. I’d feel like a hypocrite, like my marriage was tainted or something. I had a talk with him about it and I finally figured out it was because of his parents. He understood my reasons, so we we’d compromised (he had, at least) and we were having it at the event hall where Sloane had had her last fashion show. It used to be a church, but had been converted into an event space. As a bonus, my mom knew the event coordinator and they had an opening. Our reception would be at my parents’ house under a tent. Everything else had been pretty much smooth sailing. Lucah and I were on the same page when it came to cheesy traditions like unity sand and the garter toss and all of that nonsense. We were very non-traditionally traditional.
“Anything I can do to help?” he asked as he wiped the corner of a plate with a cloth.
“No. It’s just getting close and I’m freaking out.” I almost cringed, but it wasn’t a complete lie. I still couldn’t get rid of my initial reluctance to marry Lucah, but I was much more on board than ever before. There were moments of doubt that crept up on me when I least expected, though. I hated those moments, when all my negative thoughts would parade through my mind, being loud and waving banners saying that Lucah was too good to be true and the second we said “I do” things were going to fall apart.
It was nuts, of course, because we’d been living together and that had worked out totally fine. Sure, there were always little disagreements and issues, but we were good at working through them. Now that he wasn’t hiding anything from me, our communication was open and honest and it was what I’d always dreamed of in a relationship. Nothing else could hold a candle to it.
“Cold feet?” he asked, taking things off the stove and bustling around me. He was really good at multitasking.
“Not exactly.” I wanted to change the subject. “He still hasn’t told me about the honeymoon.” Dad smiled.
“You know?!” I yelled. He just winked and pretended to seal his lips.
“He wanted to make sure he got the best deal, so he called and asked.” Everyone was going to know before me. It just wasn’t fair.
“Don’t pout,” Dad said, coming over to gather me into his arms like I was a little girl again.
“But I want to pout,” I said into his chest.
“Oh, Rory Girl, it will be okay,” he said, patting my back like he was comforting me after my hamster died.
I wanted to grumble some more, but then Lucah came in to see what was what.
“I can’t believe you told him,” I said to Lucah.
He just shrugged and gave me one of his cocky smiles that made me want to rip his pants off and have my way with him. Not the best thought to have when your father was standing right there. I gave him a look so he knew that he was in big trouble for unleashing that smile on me. He was going to get it later.
“You just don’t like not knowing everything,” he said, kissing the top of my head. Normally I loved the fact that he was so tall, but right now it was annoying.
“Yeah, well, I wonder why. Could it be that you hid your real identity from me for months?” I jabbed him in the stomach with one finger. I knew little digs like this didn’t bother him. I’d gotten over the fact that he lied. Sure, it sucked, but it was for the greater good. He helped get the rotten eggs out of Clarke Enterprises. And if he hadn’t come to work for me in the corporate mole capacity, then we might not have met. That thought scared me, even though I knew it would never come to pass.
“Ouch,” he said, but he had a smile on his face.