“Because we have to be realistic. I know it’s not easy, but I wanted you to know that if anything happened to me, you’ll be taken care of.” I couldn’t hold onto my emotions anymore and a sob escaped my throat. I couldn’t breathe.
“Hey, hey.” A hand gripped my shoulder and I opened my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” I gasped.
“Look at me,” he said and I made myself turn my head and meet his eyes. I was just barely holding things together. If he kept going with this, I was going to lose it. Under normal circumstances, I might be able to deal with this particular topic, but I wasn’t in fighting form right now. He knew that, so why?
“Shhh, Sunshine, I know this is hard. I just wanted you to know. I’ll stop talking about it, okay?” I couldn’t answer, so he grabbed me up and pulled me into a hug, getting his shirt all wet. I swallowed my panic and tried to breathe like I did when I thought I was going to have a panic attack.
“That’s it. Take it easy.” I hated that my emotions were all over the place. They seemed to be especially bad lately. The littlest thing would set me off. Stupid sleep deprivation making me all crazy.
“I’m sorry I freaked out. The rational part of my brain tells me that it’s the right thing, but the other part of my brain where my love for you lives doesn’t want to even contemplate the possibility of someday needing to know where your will is.” I didn’t have a will. I’d never even considered it. Guess that was what happened when your parents were still alive. You didn’t think about things like wills. But Lucah had experienced the deaths of his parents so he knew.
“It’s okay. I know it’s a difficult subject. But now you know and we don’t have to talk about it again right now. Okay?” I nodded against his shoulder and he pulled back, smoothing back my wet hair.
“What do you want me to sing?”
“‘Come To Me,’” I said. It was the song he’d used to propose getting pre-engaged. Every now and then I caught him humming it under his breath.
“Absolutely.” He picked up his guitar again and started to play, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that shoebox in the closet.
~*~*~
I couldn’t sleep, mostly due to the excitement about my bachelorette party and the deal with the will. Lucah fell asleep fast and I made absolutely sure he was out before I crept out of bed, got out the stepstool and used it to reach the top shelf of the closet. After a little groping, my hands closed around a shoebox I didn’t know was up there. I pulled it down and took the top off. It was too dark in the room to see what was in it, and I didn’t want to risk waking Lucah, so I just felt around and found an envelope with something folded inside. It was sealed and the paper was quite thick, judging from the heft of the envelope, so I figured that was it. There were a few other things in the box, including one small rectangle of paper which felt like it might be a social security card. Funny that he kept his important papers in a shoebox, given that he’d had to hide his identity for so many years. I was going to get that boy a safe.
Carefully as I could, I put the lid on the box and went back to bed. I almost screamed when a voice said, “Did you find it?” My heart kicked into high gear and I had to wait a second before I answered him.
“I think so. The thick paper in the envelope?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” He reached out and squeezed my hand and I closed my eyes and snuggled against him.
Sixteen
“Are you sure you packed enough shoes?” Lucah asked, his face skeptical. I’d been ready for the trip for hours and was just sitting on the couch, waiting for Sloane.
“You don’t understand. You’re a man.” In addition to the hiking boots I’d bought recently, I also had sneakers, ballet flats, a pair of slippers and two pairs of sexy heels. Just in case. I had the suspicion we weren’t going straight to the cabin, so I’d packed a sexy going-out outfit in addition to my cabin chic clothes.
“Okay, Sunshine.” He gave me a patronizing kiss on the cheek and I was about to call him out on it when the door flew open and Sloane came in, a bag over her shoulder, her hair up in a fabulous braided bun, and her clothes stylish but casual.
“You ready to go, babe?” She was clearly pleased with herself about something and was going to be insufferable about it for the rest of the weekend.
“I am. You be good while I’m gone. No strippers.” Lucah grabbed a stack of sticky notes and a pen, wrote no strippers on it and then slapped it on my bag. He wrote another one and then stuck it on his chest.
“You are unbelievable,” I said.
“But you love me.” I leaned forward and kissed him.
“But I love you.” He shoved his tongue in my mouth, like he was definitely trying to show me just how good at kissing he was. It was intense and I started to reach for the button on his jeans when someone cleared their throat.
“That’s all nice and lovely, but this party train is about to pull out of the station and you need to be on it,” Sloane said, grabbing my arm and yanking me away from Lucah.
“No strippers! I love you!” I yelled out before she slammed the door.
“No strippers! I love you too, Sunshine!” I heard him call back.
“That’s enough of that,” Sloane said, still dragging me. This was a problem because her legs were much longer than mine and I was going to eat the hallway floor if she kept it up.