“Now if I was with someone who wanted to go ahead and get pregnant and have a baby with me, that would be something else. But I’m not letting this,” she said, gesturing to her body, “get wrecked by a rugrat. No way in hell.”
“Haven’t you seen models who have had kids? They look great,” Sloane said and Chloe threw a marshmallow at her.
“Hey, I’m just saying. And there’s always plastic surgery. You can get everything nipped, tucked and sucked.” I made a face.
“Please stop talking about tucking and sucking. It’s gross,” I said, finishing another glass of wine. I was warm and cozy and the sun was setting the sky on fire as it set. I was with my three best friends and I was getting married. Life really couldn’t get any better. Sure, I could be a billionaire, but that wouldn’t make the sky any more beautiful.
“What are you so smiley about?” Sloane asked.
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that I’m really happy right now. That everything seems good. Just a day ago I wanted to cancel this whole weekend and say ‘fuck it’.” Lucah had been right to drag me out of work. I’d been so wrapped up in my own stress that I couldn’t see the forest through the trees.
“Well, good. That was the goal. I’m scared you’re going to just move into your office and we’ll never see you again,” Sloane said.
“Yeah, I have that fear as well. It’s a good thing Lucah and Lilia forced me to leave,” I said with a laugh.
“Ugh, being an adult sucks. That’s why I stayed in school so long,” Marisol said.
“Plus you can defer your loans,” I said. My parents had helped out with college, but Marisol had had to do it on her own.
“Exactly,” she said, raising her glass in my direction.
~*~*~
We stayed outside until the fire burned down to coals and we’d drunk all of the wine from the cooler. Somehow we’d switched from talking about stories from our college experiences to talking about embarrassing stories from junior high. The booze had made us more likely to talk than we would have been.
“Oh man, the look on my dad’s face,” Chloe said, speaking about the first time her parents had caught her in bed, naked, with another girl. “Safe to say I wasn’t allowed to have any more sleepovers.” Chloe rarely talked about her parents. They weren’t so cool with her being a lesbian, so she’d pretty much severed ties with them when she’d gone to college.
“I hid a boy in my bathtub once,” I said. I’d been young and stupid and had snuck him in and my parents had come home early. There wasn’t enough room under my bed or in the closet, so he’d dived into the bathtub and I’d pulled the curtain and tried to look casual. Somehow it had worked, but I’d realized the guy was kind of a dick, so I’d told him never to sneak in again.
The stories got wilder and wilder and the night got colder and colder, so we wandered back inside and put in a few movies as we drank tea and talked. We all crashed out again on the floor.
Seventeen
I was the first one up the next morning. Or rather, it was late morning. Very close to being afternoon. As quietly as I could, I snuck outside and called Lucah. Love made you freakishly addicted to your fiancé.
“You’re not supposed to be calling me,” he said by way of a greeting.
“I know, but I miss you. I know that makes me a total dork, but I don’t care. I love you and I miss you even though I’m not supposed to.” He chuckled and it made shivers go down my spine. I loved his laugh.
“I miss you, too. It’s been so quiet without you. I hate it. There’s no one to watch pace around and no one to get naked with and no one to make dinner for. I hate it.” Now I was the one to laugh.
“Well, it sounds like we are mutually codependent. That’s probably not good. I’m sure a therapist would have something to say about it,” I said.
“Yeah, well, I’m not booking an appointment with Ryder’s old farting therapist anytime soon.” I made a face. If I never heard about that guy and his gas again, it would be too soon.
“Some people go through pre-marriage counseling. Maybe we should have done that? I mean, what if we randomly discover things about each other after the wedding?” Oh, great. There was the panic again.
“Whoa, slow down, what are you talking about?” he said and I took a deep breath.
“Nothing. I just had a moment. It’s gone now. Also, I’m a little hung over, so I’m going to blame it on that.” Just then I felt a wave of nausea and lurched toward the end of the porch so I could hurl. I made sure I put my phone down first so Lucah didn’t have to hear anything because, gross.
I wiped my mouth and then picked up the phone.
“So, speaking of being hung over, I need to go eat something before I puke again.”
“Okay, Sunshine. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you tonight. Love you.” I grinned like an idiot, even though I’d just thrown up.
“Love you, too.” I hung up and swallowed a few times. Ugh, I needed to brush my teeth.