Surrendering Series Box Set

“Oh, you’re just a picture,” Mom said, tossing yet another tissue. “I really wish you’d reconsider the veil, though…”

Here we go again.

~*~*~

The next few weeks were much better at work. My wedding inched closer and closer and I started to lose sleep again for a different reason. I was absolutely exhausted during the day. I even slept under my desk a few times. Lilia was instrumental in making sure that no one walked in and caught me. I pulled the chair in after me, but still. I didn’t think it would look good if someone found out about it.

“Are you okay? That’s about the third time you’ve fallen asleep on the couch just after dinner,” Lucah said eight days before the wedding. We were supposed to be going out with my friends, but I definitely wasn’t up for it. I’d have to get toothpicks to prop my eyelids open, or get Lucah to pinch me periodically.

“It’s just the wedding stuff,” I said through a yawn. My period was due to start the next day, so I bet it was PMS. That traitorous bitch.

“I would’ve pushed harder for an elopement if I knew it was going to take this much out of you,” he said, moving my head so I was resting on his shoulder.

“And my mother would have come after you and killed you and then there would be no wedding.” We both laughed at that.

“Oh, that’s only funny because it’s true,” he said, sighing.

“I know. She was inconsolable during my fitting. It was like someone had died.” Well, until she tried to fight me about wearing the veil in front of my face so that there could be the dramatic uncovering or however that went, but I reminded her that I wasn’t a virgin bride and then things got uncomfortable until she started crying again.

“As much as I want to see your dress, I’m a little relieved I wasn’t there for that. Seeing someone like your mother cry must have been –”

I cut him off.

“Weird. It was weird.” He ran the back of his knuckles across my arm. It was an absentminded gesture, but I loved it so much. I loved that he reached out to touch me and he wasn’t aware of doing it. Like it was a reflex. I found myself sometimes doing similar things and it always made me feel lovely and warm inside.

“Then it’ll probably be even worse on the actual day.” Every time he mentioned the day, I got flutters in my stomach and it started to churn a bit, especially since our little pre-Rehearsal Dinner dinner had gotten pushed forward until tomorrow. Tate and April were thrilled to be getting out of the house and they were bringing the girls, which Mom was over the moon about. Fin was home for a while, so he was also coming with Marisol. It was supposed to be a low-key affair, but I was starting to stress again.

“Calm down, Sunshine. Everything is going to go fine and if it doesn’t, you’re not even going to care.” I knew that was true. I KNEW that was true. Still didn’t stop my overactive imagination going in all kinds of insane directions. My latest fear was that we’d have a surprise hurricane. Or that the building would catch fire and burn down. Or it would be like Ross and Emily’s wedding on FRIENDS when they demolished the building the day before. She was fine with having her ceremony in the destroyed shell with all the candles and such, but that was definitely not going to work for me. Hell to the no.

“I knooowwww,” I said, drawing out the word. I knew I was being whiny, but if I couldn’t be whiny before my wedding then when could I?

“It’s okay, it doesn’t bother me. It’s sweet that you care so much.” I didn’t want to care this much. I wanted to be carefree and laughing and radiant. Instead I was nervous and sweaty and frantic. So sexy.

“Ugh, what time is it?” I said through another yawn.

“Not even nine.” I groaned.

“I’m eighty years old before my time.” Lucah felt my forehead like he’d done a dozen times this week. His theory is that I had a low-grade flu bug that had glommed onto my weakened immune system. His solution was to force me to eat a lot of oranges and take these giant horse pills that were supposed to help. I did it all because it was adorable and I loved him.

Love made you choke down giant pills to please your fiancé. Lucah had also pestered me to make a doctor’s appointment, but I had refused so far. Going to the doctor was like taking your car to the mechanic. Even if there wasn’t something wrong with you/it, they’d find something and it would cost you a bunch of money. I had health insurance, but still. It was just my paranoia at work again. Especially with everything that had happened with Dad. I was wary of people in medical coats.

“Oh, that’s not true.” He was totally lying on my behalf. “Come on. I don’t think many eighty-year-olds can do that thing you do with your legs without seriously shattering a hip or needing to call the ambulance.” I giggled. I suppose that was true.

“And speaking of that thing with your legs…” My eyes popped open to find him leering down at me in a not-unpleasant way. Well. That was one way to wake me up. And judging from his pants, someone else was waking up as well.

“You are shameless. You’ll take any opportunity to put your dick inside at least one of my orifices.” His eyebrows raised.

“Well, my goal is to get it anywhere I can, but I’d settle for one. Or two.” And then he picked up my hand and put it on said dick. I gave him a look.

“Seriously?” He let go and put both hands in the air as if to say, it’s up to you now. Huh. I was finding myself more and more awake. Imagine that.

I moved my hand up and started to undo his belt.

“You don’t have to. I was just joking,” he said.

“No.” I licked my lips. “I want to. I refuse to be an eighty-year-old who goes to bed at nine and never has sex.”

I inched down his zipper, watching his face the whole time. God, I loved this. I loved giving him pleasure as much as I enjoyed getting it. Never thought that would happen, but here I was, all excited about giving a blow job to my fiancé.