“I’m not afraid of you,” I confess to him, wanting to at least hint at the depths of what I feel for him.
“You should be.” He doesn’t try to make his words gentle in the least. “You need to be.”
In his presence, my body turns to fire. He ignites something inside of me like no one else ever has. I doubt anyone else could ever affect me the way he does. Some moments, I hate him and who he is, and what he’s done and will do. But unless those thoughts are on the forefront of my mind, the hate fades and it’s replaced with a lust that clouds my judgment and demands my body bow to his. To show him love like he’s never seen and the power of what it can do to heal him.
What’s more? I crave it more every day. I’m addicted to Carter Cross. And the shame of that fact, although present, has quieted.
But the voice is still there and picks away at me. It’s relentless, but so is Carter.
Chapter 12
Carter
Some moments, I feel closer to her.
Others, more distant.
I wish I knew what to make of her tonight. Nothing went as I thought it would and that puts me on edge.
She fell asleep in the tub, and as I carry her small form wrapped in a towel to bed, I can’t help but notice how peaceful she looks.
Tonight, was like knowing you’re in the eye of a storm. She’s calm and placated but beneath the surface, everything she’s truly feeling rage inside of her. She needs to let it go.
I have to set her down and pull the comforter from underneath her before she can bury herself into the mattress.
As she nestles into the sheets, she wakes calmly.
Rubbing her eyes, she comes to and asks, “Is it morning?” She practically hums the words.
With her damp hair a mess and sleep lingering in her expression, she’s fucking gorgeous.
I cup her cheek and plant a soft kiss on her lips, to which she lifts hers up and deepens it. I’m growing addicted to the way she kisses me. How she doesn’t hide her passion in her touch.
Unlike in her gifted room today. I want them all to be like this one.
I’ve never kissed a woman before her. Never let myself fall for anyone or given them that part of me. So, every peck, every time she deepens it, it means so much more than I thought it would. I need more of this from her.
“Not yet, songbird.” Whispering against her lips I tell her, “You fell asleep in the bath.”
She slowly sits up as I climb into bed next to her.
“Well, I don’t feel tired now,” she tells me and sits cross-legged.
Exhaustion sweeps over me as I lie down and pull her close to me. “Good, I can have you then,” I tell her, letting my lips drag against her neck to leave a trail of open-mouth kisses. I rock my erection into her hip and then pin her under me. “I wanted you in the bath.”
I’d planned on putting one heel on each side of the tub, just as I’d told her to do in the office, but her questions were more important. More insightful, even though I didn’t like where they were going.
It feels like she’s slipping from me, slowly. I’m losing her, and I don’t know how or why.
But I’ll get her back. She has nowhere else to run and no one else.
She only needs to accept that.
Her hand sweeps behind my neck and she pulls my lips to hers, taking and demanding. “Make me forget,” she whispers against my lips and my chest aches at her words.
I need to forget, just as she does. It’s so easy to get lost in her.
My fingers trail down the dip in her waist slowly until I find her cunt. Already hot and wet and needy, she rocks herself into my palm and I smile against her lips.
Nipping her lower lip and guiding my cock to her entrance, I tease her, “You’re always ready for me.”
“Always,” she mewls just before I slam into her to the hilt.
“Fuck!” she yells out as I pull out and then thrust into her slowly, taken aback at the tone of her strangled cry.
Her palms press against my chest, pushing me away as I kiss the crook of her neck and she moans a painful sound. “Carter,” she whispers my name with agony. Her brow is etched with a look of pain.
“It hurts,” she gasps, arching her neck as I pull out of her completely. “It hurts,” she repeats, trying to close her legs. Shit. My body tenses concerned that I hurt her. Fuck. Not like this.
“Shh,” I whisper against her neck and kiss her lightly as my fingers find her clit. She needs to feel good under me. I can’t have her any other way.