I watch as he presses my hand to his phone, flattening it and then turns his back on me, walking to a panel by the front door.
I can feel my eyebrows pinch together.
Carter already said he’s sorry once. I doubt he’ll say it again. At this point, I don’t even know what I want him to say. His words aren’t the problem, it’s his actions.
“If you’re going back outside, grab a coat.” His words are stern but there’s a trace of melancholy there. Press your hand here, he demonstrates. He gave me access. My heart flickers to life, and I hate that it does. It’s the things like this that make me question what I am to him.
“I wasn’t going back out tonight,” I tell him weakly. Wanting more from him, but not knowing how much to push him. My eyes dart from his to the door. Carter’s a hard man and maybe he’s had a hard life, but I need more than what he gave me last night and today.
I don’t know if I’m in a position to ask for it, to demand it, or if Carter is even capable of giving me more than this. And if he goes through with his plans, all of this is for naught.
“Well, whenever you do,” Carter tells me but when my eyes reach his, he moves his attention back to his phone.
I glance down at what he’s doing only to find him exit whatever it was and that’s when I see today’s date.
And that’s when this little truce no longer matters.
Nothing matters.
Chapter 16
Carter
The more I give her, the less I have her.
The moment I let her have access to outside, she stormed away from me. Not with the anger I expected given her outburst, but with a heartache that’s inexplicable.
The color drained from her face and she ran from me. Literally ran away from me and straight to the white room. She ignored me when I called out to her and tried to muffle her cries.
Everything shattered in front of me. There was no sign, no warning.
It’s my fault; she wasn’t ready. I can’t push her to move faster when the final deed has yet to be done.
That’s the only thing I can think of that would make her run from me like she did.
Her door is locked, a feature I considered excluding, but I know I could knock it down if I needed to.
I haven’t moved my eyes from the monitor on my phone but watching her cry hysterically on the floor was brutal. It was fucking torture.
It’s been nearly an hour since she’s stopped, but she hasn’t moved from the floor. Sitting cross-legged and picking at her nails, she’s just sitting there, rocking on and off, humming and crying. The only saving grace I have is that my necklace is still around her neck. She hasn’t taken it off since I put it on her.
I told you to be gentle, Jase’s text message interrupts the feed and I click over to it. He’s the only reason I haven’t lost my shit. Although I’m on the verge of ripping the door off the hinges of that room and demanding she tell me what set her off.
I fucking was. I quickly text him my reply and then add, How much time has to pass before I can go in there?
You can’t. He answers immediately and even though a part of me knows he’s right, a bigger part of me knows she needs me. She needs someone, and I want to be that someone.
What if we side with Talvery? Over Romano? I’m grasping at straws just to keep her.
It will be a sign of weakness. Jase’s response is swift, and the next question is quick to come to my mind. I know no one will understand or respect why I’d allow Talvery to live. Not unless it’s clear why. And undeniable.
What if I married her? I type the words, but I can’t send them. The thought of her as mine truly, in every way, sends a thread of hope passing before my reach. So close, and so delicate, just like the necklace around her neck. And I think maybe she’d do it. She’d agree if I agreed to spare her family.
But being a wife to a monster only makes her vulnerable. The hope dies as quickly as the flame of a fire only meant to have an ember.
She’s not feared, not respected. My enemies would kill her the first chance they got, just to hurt me. I know they would. Just as they tried to take Addison from Daniel.
Jase sends me another text. She needs to tell you what happened.
He’s right. I need something to fix. Some way to control what went wrong.
If it’s her family, you’re fucked. Jase texts me again before I can text him back and I almost fling the phone at the wall when it shows on my screen. Instead, I flick to her monitor, but she’s not there.