Just a Bit Heartless (Straight Guys 13)

Damiano wrapped his arms around him. “But is it enough for you?” The words were hard to say. His throat felt like sandpaper. Am I enough?

Jordan looked at him seriously. “It is,” he said, his voice soft. “I’d prefer your fucked-up version of love to the sweetest, most conventional love lavished on me by another person. Because it’s you. And you’re more than enough. You’re what I need to feel enough.”

Damiano tightened his arms. “I’ll do better,” he said roughly. “I’ll try for you.”

Jordan grinned. “And you say your feelings aren’t sweet. I think they’re plenty sweet. I turned you into a cuddler. I can turn you into a certified sap in… let’s say a year.”

A year.

It was hard to believe that he—they—were talking talking about the future. Their future.

“You’re staying here, right?” Damiano said, clearing his throat. “Indefinitely.” Forever. Jordan would be his forever.

Jordan shrugged, looking at him curiously. “That was the plan, yeah. I even quit my job.”

Damiano just nodded, trying not to show how pleased he felt. A better man would probably object to Jordan leaving his old life for him. He wasn’t a better man.

“Your family will need bodyguards too,” Damiano said.

“Why?” Jordan said, blinking. “You don’t care for them.”

“But you do.”

Jordan stared at him.

“You are sweet,” he said, his voice a little choked up.

Before Damiano could say that his decision to give Jordan’s family bodyguards had nothing to with him being “sweet” and everything to do with his unwillingness to be blackmailed, Jordan cradled his face. “God, I love you,” he said, and kissed him.

Damiano kissed back, his mind clouding with want and his heart lurching at those words. I love you, he tried them in his mind. They didn’t feel wrong. Ti amo. They didn’t feel wrong, either. In fact, he almost wanted to say them. But he didn’t want to say them before he was sure. Jordan deserved better.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t hear the words. “Say it again,” he ordered against Jordan’s lips.

Jordan grinned. “I love you,” he said between kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Every word filled the deep, hungry pit in his chest that Damiano hadn’t even known existed.

Feeling almost intoxicated, Damiano put Jordan on his desk and pushed him under him.

Where he belonged.

I love you.

He might not have been able to say the words, but he could show it.

He would very much enjoy showing it.

Epilogue

One year later

Jordan hugged his sister tightly.

“Let me look at you!” Eloise said, pulling back and grinning. “You look so tan!”

“Living in Sicily would do it,” Jordan said dryly.

“Where’s your worse half?” Eloise said, craning her neck, as if she expected Damiano to be hiding behind him.

“He’ll be here soon.” Jordan rolled his eyes. “He’s getting wine for Dad. The wine we brought with us got broken in transit.”

“Ouch,” Eloise said, taking his arm, and walking toward the house. “The kids will be so happy to see you. They missed you. We all did.”

“I missed you guys too,” Jordan said softly, looking at his parents’ house festively decorated for Christmas. “I’m sorry we missed Christmas dinner, but Damiano has a big family and we had to spend Christmas with them.”

Strictly speaking, they didn’t have to spend Christmas with Damiano’s family, but Jordan had insisted. He’d been gradually convincing Damiano to act friendlier with the clan instead of ruling them with fear. It was slow going, but Jordan was satisfied with the progress so far. There were already a few relatives he could legitimately call friends and who didn’t piss themselves every time Damiano frowned.

“I get it,” his sister said. “How is business?”

“Good,” Jordan said. The game development studio that he’d founded in Italy had been doing a little too well, in fact. So well that Jordan had a sneaking suspicion Damiano was helping it take off, even though he’d denied it.

“What about your personal life?” Eloise said.

Jordan found himself smiling. “Great. We’re great.”

They were great. More than great. It wasn’t that he and Damiano didn’t have disagreements or fights; they did. They both were stubborn and too set in their own ways to not butt heads from time to time, especially when it came to Damiano’s overprotectiveness. But the good far outweighed the bad, and Damiano was very sweet and considerate after their fights. Not to mention that the makeup sex was amazing. To be fair, all sex with Damiano was amazing.

“Is Mom going to be okay with Damiano?” Jordan said, changing the subject before his body could react to those thoughts.

Eloise squeezed his arm. “It’s going to be fine, don’t worry about it. Any doubts she had about your Italian mafioso are nothing compared to the fact that he got Aiden back. Right now Damiano is probably her favorite person in the world.”

Jordan smiled. “I know. I still can’t believe Damiano found him.”