I wanted to hurt him. But I wasn’t like him. I couldn’t turn off one emotion and turn on another like water from a spigot. He could exchange one mask for another as easily as changing clothes. I’d never had the luxury of a disguise. I was always out in the open, my heart on my sleeve. The foolish thing was, I didn’t want to change. I wanted to remain the same. At the end of the year, when I walked away from this cabal of vultures, I still wanted to be me.
I answered Lucius’s questioning look with a shake of my head. “Put me down.”
“Fuck, Stella.” He set me on my feet and scowled.
“I thought you were leaving on business.”
He sighed. “I am.”
I lay my hand over his heart and got to my tiptoes to kiss his rough cheek. “Thank you for last night.”
He peered down at me. “Nothing to thank me for.”
“It’s okay to be a decent person every so often, you know?”
“Keep talking like that and I’ll throw you on the bed and show you just how decent I’m not.” His eyes flickered to my lips in his usual, wolfish way.
“Stella?” Teddy pushed through my half-open door. “Oh, hey. Sorry. I didn’t know you two were—”
Lucius gave me one more long look before turning and walking away. He clapped Teddy on the back as he walked past. “No, it’s cool. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
“Where you headed?”
“Cuba for a little while.”
“Is everything okay there?” Teddy sat on my bed.
“Nothing me and a .45 can’t fix.” Lucius strolled out the door and down the hall.
“Is he kidding?” Teddy raised his eyebrows.
Definitely not. “Yeah. I think so. He’s just in a mood.”
Teddy lay back and ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Seems like everyone is. Sin bit my head off about talking to Laura before tearing out of here. What’s going on?”
I plopped next to him. “Sin thinks I slept with Lucius.”
He stopped rubbing his eyes. “Oh, well then that makes more sense. Wait, did you?”
“Yes. I slept with Lucius as in he literally slept in my bed with me last night because I needed someone. No, we did not have sex.”
“Thank god. I was beginning to question your judgment.”
“Shut up.” I swatted his leg.
“What about Lucius? What’s his problem?”
“Naturally, he’s mad that he got to spend the night but didn’t get any.”
He laughed. “He’ such an ass sometimes.”
“He isn’t as bad as he seems.” I lay back so we were shoulder to shoulder.
“Huh. I thought I was the only one who knew that.”
“Nope. I know it now, too.”
“Neither of them are bad. Not really. Sin can be sort of…”
“Psychotic?”
“Yeah, something like that. But it’s because he’s had a lot of pressure, I think. Dad died when we were little, and then Sin became the man of the house. And then there was the Brazil thing that we don’t talk about.” He drummed his fingers on his chest. “And Mom. And now the Acquisition. He’s just really strong, and it makes him sort of, I don’t know, focused and driven to the point of seeming cold and, like you said, psychotic.”
“Not to bring up old wounds, but you seem to have changed your mind since our last conversation about him.”
He shrugged. “I’m doing what he didn’t do for you. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. There has to be a reason, some really good reason, for the things he’s done to you. Right?”
“There is.” That was the closest I’d ever come to telling him the stakes. I couldn’t say more.
“I knew it. If you think it’s worth it, then it has to be.”
I took his hand and squeezed it. “It is.”
“And the thing with Lucius… We’ll get it straightened out.”
“Sin didn’t even ask me. He just assumed the worst and stormed off.”
“Give him a minute to cool off. He’ll come back. And then you can explain it to him and see if he’ll, I don’t know, grovel or something to get back in your good graces.”
I laughed. “I don’t think Sin has ever groveled in his life.”
“He’d do it for you. I know he would. He loves you. He may be too caught up in this Acquisition bullshit to see it clearly, but I know he does.”
“You try to see the best in everyone. Sometimes it isn’t there. You know?” I sighed and shifted, my arm beginning to ache.
“It is.”
I had my doubts. But then I remembered the conversation I’d overhead between Rebecca and Renee. Maybe Teddy was right. Rebecca wanted Sin to bring the Acquisition down. There was light left in her despite the dark roads she’d travelled. I wanted to tell Sin what I’d heard, to let him know what his mother intended. Would it change anything?
“Maybe you’re right about seeing the best in people. Though, I must say, I’ve seen some pretty horrible human beings over the last few months.”