He stands by the door for a long drawn out moment before a heavy sigh pulls from deep within. “I’m not going to lie, Squish. You look like shit.”
“Have you looked in a mirror lately?” I grumble. “You don’t exactly look as fresh as a daisy either.”
Dad presses his lips into a firm line as he walks forward and drops down onto the couch beside me and squeezes my leg. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?”
I shake my head. “How could I when Ari is out there?”
“I know,” he murmurs, leaning back into the couch and staring at the wall. “I’m feeling it too. I’ve been driving all night so I thought I’d come home, have a quick shower and something to eat before heading back out. I managed to find a few of Kelly’s old friends who gave me a lead, so I’m going to try that.”
“What kind of lead?”
“Her old dealer. If she falls off the wagon again, she’ll most likely go there and if I can manage to scare him enough, maybe he’ll tell me when he sees her and get some information.”
“Not a bad idea. Maybe you should take Noah with you. He has a certain charm for scaring people into doing what he wants.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
I shrug my shoulders. Now isn’t the best time to tell dad what Noah used to do for Anton for all those years. “Just give him a call. He’ll be able to help.”
“Alright,” he murmurs. “I’ll call him.”
I can’t resist leaning into his side and curling up into him and the second I do, the emotions become way too much. Tears begin running down my face and only manage to make me feel pathetic. I don’t know what it is but there’s something about being in a parent’s arms that make the emotions come tearing to the front. “I know, Squish,” Dad says, putting an arm around me and holding me tight. “Get it out.”
He lets me cry into his shirt and when the tears finally run their course, I pull away, letting out a deep breath and hating how weak I feel. I wipe the backs of my hands across my face, drying my face while finding the nerve to come clean to dad.
“I need to tell you something,” I murmur. “And at first, you’re going to be really mad and then you’ll be hurt, but hopefully by the end, you’ll be able to understand that I did what I had to do because I love Ari so goddamn much.”
Dad’s brows draw down as he looks at me in confusion. “What are you talking about, Henley?”
Henley. Not Squish. Shit.
Thoughts swirl through my mind. How the hell am I going to tell him this? The only way it will even remotely make sense is if I come clean about him not being my father and that’s going to kill him. Now really isn’t the time to be having that conversation but then he needs to know that Anton is out there searching for his baby. He needs to have hope.
“I, um…shit. Dad, I really don’t want you to hate me.”
“Henley, I could never hate you. I could be mad as hell but you’re my daughter and I love you with everything that I am. Now, spit it the fuck out.”
“I snuck out last night and went to Anton Mathers. He’s going to find Ari.”
Dad doesn’t move a single muscle. “What have you done? Anton…Anton Mathers? How the hell do you know that man? Do you even know who he really is? What kind of horrendous things he’s done?”
“Dad…please just hear me out.”
“From the beginning, Henley. I want to know every fucking detail of how my daughter could get herself wound up with a man like that.”
I drop my head into my hands and clench my eyes, hating what I have to tell him. “It started when you told me about my mom. About Gina.”
“Gina?” he grunts. “What the hell does she have anything to do with this?”
“I sort of…ah, sought her out and met her.”
Dad looks stumped as he watches me in silence, so I continue on, knowing all the Gina bullshit is just touching the surface. “Gina is currently doing time in prison for leading a prostitution ring and Anton…well, he was the husband that Gina cheated on when she got together with you.”
Dad’s face turns a ghostly shade of white. “Excuse me? Don’t fucking tell me that I slept with Anton Mathers’ wife?”
“Ahh…yeah.”
“FUCK! What the fuck was I thinking? I’m a dead man walking. How on earth did I get away with that? Anton has killed men for so much less.”
“They needed you alive,” I tell him. “They didn’t want me so they gave me to you.”
“That man has known who you are your whole life?” I nod and dad falls back into the couch once again. “Shit, Henley. I just need a minute to wrap my head around all this.”