Second Chance Rival

I tried to stay focused on our conversation.

However, my mind was consumed with a positive pregnancy test.

—Belle—

I’d be lying if I said buying a pregnancy test at the store down the street wasn’t the most unfamiliar thing I’d ever experienced. My life was about to change for what felt like the hundredth time in a matter of a couple months. I couldn’t believe this was happening to begin with. Tristian and I were finally on better terms, seeing eye to eye, but that didn’t take away any of the uncertainty I was feeling.

I knew how much he wanted me to be pregnant, and I didn’t want to let him down. My emotions were so hot and cold about it. A few days ago, we were talking about having children, and I’d been subconsciously rubbing my belly, excited about the possibilities. Now that it was time to confirm what we both wanted…

I was scared.

Not knowing if I wanted this or just wanted him.

As I walked around the store, I found myself buying a unisex motorcycle onesie, desperately trying to shift my emotions from what if to a beautiful baby in our arms. There was no controlling the mess that was my head right now.

The next thing I knew, I was taking the test without Tristian. I couldn’t delay it any longer. The three minutes I had to wait for the results were the longest of my life. When the timer on my phone finally dinged that the test was ready, it felt as though an explosion erupted around me. I swear it echoed through the room as I made my way over to the test I’d left on the counter in the bathroom.

Three…

Two…

One…

I picked it up and looked down at the results. My heart immediately dropped to the floor while my arm shot up to my mouth. I flung the test across the room, watching as it flew through the air and connected with the wall. I sat there and stared off into space until the reminders of us caught my attention around the room. The presents he’d given me, the memories of us making love all over the bungalow. It all suddenly made me sick to my stomach to see.

It was too real.

Too soon.

I simply reacted.

Leaping off the ground, I allowed the rage, the fury, the craze I felt to take over every inch of my body. I was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, and once I did…

It was loud.

Disastrous.

Consuming.

In my frenzied state of mind, I whirled around the bungalow as if I was a hurricane, completely merciless and unforgiving. It elicited feelings I never thought possible, emotions no one should ever have to experience. I felt every loss of breath, every tear, every memory, everything he ever said to me, and everything he ever promised.

All of it cluttered my mind for my will to keep going, for me to push through. I couldn’t keep up with the emotions that clamped around my soul. Darting around my room, my feet stomped each step I treaded, leaving a path of destruction in its wake. Throwing the gifts, our clothes, anything and everything I could find. My eyes blurred with tears as I tried to escape the torture I was reliving.

“Why?! Why?!” I yelled, talking to myself. Repeating it over and over, allowing it to sink into my bones.

Through my chaos, I found the pregnancy test again. There in front of my eyes was the truth I couldn’t escape. Not when it was blatantly spelled out for me in big, bold letters. I don’t know how much time flew by, everything just sort of stood still like it was the middle of the night and not bright and early with the start of a new day.

I wanted to love him.

Be with him.

Truly be his wife.

But I couldn’t forgive him.

Not until he told me the truth for the first time.

I was trying to be patient, letting him confess when he was ready to, but there was no delaying the inevitable anymore. I needed to hear, the truth and I needed to hear it right now.